Bachelor nation, what has been the problem with the past few seasons of this show? I came into this season thinking finally, here is a down-to-earth, handsome, very anti-Juan Pablo sort of man who is probably the only thing that could make any woman want to move to Iowa. But as soon as the pilot episode premiered, I knew we were in trouble.

First of all, I would like to say I am a Bachelor veteran. I have been watching since elementary school when I thought the fantasy suite was just a place for couples to talk privately and that everyone on the show must be really cold-natured for the amount of hot-tubbing going on. I have seen it all, at this point, and the show has definitely had its string of bad contestants. 

In fact, The Biggest Loser has more successful marriages than this show. Still, every Monday night I come back for more tears and alcohol in two hours than any show should be allowed. 

My problem with this season started night one with this whole, “let’s bring in half the girls and then bring in the other half later and see what happens.” You would have thought the girls had been told he was choosing his fiancé that night! This show is so hung up on drama that now they have to create it out of limo arrival times. 

My next issue was the attire these women decided to show up in. I am sorry, darling, but cocktail attire does not mean wear the shortest jorts you can find and then decide to be a lady, later. And I thought Sean’s season where Lindsay showed up in a wedding dress was as bad as it could get.

My next issue is Ashley S. It is morally wrong to have this girl on national television! You may all have seen her craziness as soon as she got out of that limo. Don’t believe me? Go back and watch it because as soon as she steps out you see the crazy eyes come out. I have watched The Bachelor long enough to know this is the girl they have chosen, the girl that someone slipped through the cracks during casting and now, miraculously, makes it through every week even though we scream at the television every time it happens. 

Also, can we talk about the amount of making out that is happening this season? Seriously, if Chris never had mono before, he for sure has it now. Note to all health care providers, you should definitely have him do your advertising. I understand this is something natural, but for goodness sake, if you are not on a one-on-one with her, just stop! It is not romantic to kiss on the roof and almost fall off. Major props to you, Becca, for showing you don’t have to kiss a man to make him like you.

More issues include Kaitlyn’s weird bird tattoos, the women wearing stilettos with their bathing suits, and Jillian not being able to find any article of clothing that can fully cover her rear end. 

I’ll be tuning in with you, Bachelor nation, because let’s be real, we’re never going to really stop watching.