It was a bright but cloudy day–one of those days that just doesn't make sense in the grand scheme of things, in so many ways. The aromas of all the different coffees being brewed hit me as soon as I came through the door, and after ordering some for ourselves, Isabella and I sat down to have a conversation that neither of us knew would end up triggering the biggest change of my life. We talked about many different things, but after discussing her mission trip to Africa and my intention to go on missions, she introduced me to Adventures in Missions.
I can’t tell you how on earth it happened, except that it was all by God’s hand, because somehow before I even left Starbucks that day, I had an account on their website and was preparing to apply and interview for the college mission team trip to India.
On my long drive home, I couldn’t drive fast enough to get back and begin the interview process. I’ll never forget the phone call with my mom that day when I told her what I was doing. I hadn’t even gotten accepted yet, but there I was, telling her that I knew in my heart this is what was going to happen.
The interview process lasted the next four weeks, and suddenly, it became real. During the process, I had just as many nay-sayers as I did supporters. These were the people telling me I was nuts, crazy, or not cut out for this. The biggest doubter of God’s plan, though, was me. After months of hearing horror stories of bombings and planes going down or disappearing, coupled with my own fears, I found myself crippled with the "what-ifs."
These “what-ifs” burdened me for weeks as the trip got closer to the point where I could not sleep, and there were few moments when it wasn’t on my mind. One night in my car, coming home from church, I just burst into tears and pulled over to pray. I had lost focus of what this trip was about. I had forgotten who was really doing all of this–getting me through obstacle after obstacle, making everything fall together.
That night I was reminded of why this trip was even necessarily, and realized that my fears were pointless for many reasons. The first being that God is in control, and no one on this earth can truly hurt me because I belong to Him. The pain and fear of this body will fade when I do, and any work I do here is for His glory alone. The point was, it is not about me.
My grandmother told me a story one day when I was having a particularly hard time with my fear. Fifty-three years ago, a 30-year-oldman with a wife and three young children dropped everything, packed his family up and went to Kentucky. He had been called to preach, and he was answering that calling. His family had nowhere to go, nowhere to sleep, and he had no job yet. After quitting college, he dared to walk into the president's office of a theological seminary school and plead his case. He didn’t have the qualifications for entrance into the school, yet it happened. God meant for him to preach, and he was going to no matter what. That man was my great-grandfather.
When God has called you to do something, He will make a way for you to do it. It has not been me alone that fought so hard for this trip. I’m not a brave person. I’m scared of a lot of things, yet here I am. It’s not me, it’s God.
So, when people ask me why, I can give them a clear, confident answer. It’s to share everything that God is with people 8,300 miles away. It’s to show them that our mission team has genuinely cared for them since before we even knew where we were going to be serving, and that that love comes from a Father that loves them even more than we ever could. I’m going so that I can serve God and my brothers and sisters that deserve to know what their worth is in their Father’s eyes. That the struggles they face every day don’t have to be faced alone. I’m going because I love India and the people in it in a way that is indescribable. God has ignited the flame inside me for them and for everyone in this world that have never gotten to know Him.
God’s love makes me brave. And this is the only the beginning.
