The thing is, love is a beautiful and remarkable emotion. It makes you feel like you're flying, like you're invincible, and when you're with that person, nothing else in the world matters. When that feeling is somehow ripped away, that pain is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. It gets you at 3 a.m. when you can't sleep, and you realize just how badly you want that person back. As time goes on, and you realize you're never going to, you begin to wonder if it was all worth it. You make a promise to yourself to never love again in order to prevent this pain from reoccurring. And when you do find yourself falling for someone else, you're hesitant. Why? You map the relationship out in your head: I like them. We start talking. We get together and are happy for a few months, or if I'm lucky, years. But no matter what anyone tells you, the end is always the same: they'll get tired of me and leave, just like the last one. It's a vicious cycle that always ends in pain.
I've had this "vicious cycle" outlook for a while now, always assuming no one will really want to put up with me their whole life. I see my flaws and weaknesses, and that's what we dwell on. I wish there was a way to see ourselves from someone else's point of view, because then we would fully understand how much we mean to others. There are people in my life that I can't see a thing wrong with, but in their mind, they can't see a thing right. I tell them, quite often, how amazing they are and that they should overlook the flaws because we all have them; they're what makes us different.
No one is perfect, not even Ed Westwick, aka Chuck Bass. (For those of you who don't know, he is one of the most gorgeous human beings to ever walk this earth.) He, like a lot of us, pines after the love of his life. He refuses to give up on her, even through the worst of times. Though he can have any girl in the world, he wants the only girl that resists the Chuck Bass charm.
He went through a lot to be with her, which begs the question: Why can't we power through our pain to find our true loves? Maybe it's because we don't live in a TV show where everyone has a true love. It might also be because we live in a society where everyone shies away from love. It's made out to be this awful thing that shouldn't be felt or expressed.
I used to believe it was love that sickened me. Seeing couples happily walking together, sharing a kiss or two, just disgusted me. Now I realize it was the envy of not having that happiness anymore that made it repulsive. We shouldn't hate on someone for being happy just because we aren't. It's like being upset because someone is tall and we're short; they can't help it.
So why hate on love? Making others feel bad about how they feel doesn't make you any happier. I'm proposing an alternate way of looking at life: Find the beauty in things, rather than the flaws. If you see a couple walking down the street, hand in hand and laughing, feed off of that positivity. Don't turn something as beautiful as love into an ugly monster just because you had a loved one taken from you.
Along those same lines, when you see yourself in the mirror, find the things you love about yourself. Don't you dare say "I don't like anything about myself," either, because there's something! If you're really lacking good thoughts about yourself, ask a friend what they love about you. Try and see yourself from their perspective. You're so clouded by your flaws that you forget your good qualities, too.
While love can be connected with pain, this doesn't mean all love is bad. That's the biggest thing holding us back from relationships, the fear of rejection and the pain. Look at it this way. You can either always fear the worst or hope for the best. I know not everyone is an optimist like me, but wouldn't you like some positivity in your life? Don't just assume everything's going to turn out badly. For all you know, things could take a turn for the better, and your life could become the best it's ever been. All you have to do is believe in whatever force is controlling our lives.
If something doesn't work out, don't beat yourself up about what you think you did wrong. Learn from what happened and realize that if you gave everything for a person that gave you little in return, they were in the wrong. Sure, you shouldn't give your all to a person that doesn't return the effort, but sometimes that's hard to do when you have a kind heart.
As you progress in life, know that there's someone out there who values you. In fact, there may be multiple someones that value you and love your little quirks. Someone out there is even dreaming of finding a person like you. Know your worth: You're a unique, beautiful, one-of-a-kind person who is loved by more people than you can imagine. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve just because you're convinced you won't find anyone better. If you just look, you'll find them, and you'll be the happiest you've ever been when you finally meet.
Sure, the pain of losing someone is unrelenting, but all wounds heal with time. Life is full of suffering, but sometimes the suffering is absolutely worth everything you experienced. If we're afraid to love, we're afraid to live. If we're afraid to live, all we're doing is surviving. And everyone knows none of us get out of this alive. So instead of suffering through this funny thing called life, why don't we all take a minute to realize how great our lives are? Only when we begin to love ourselves can we learn to love others. Realizing that you're perfectly content with who you are is the only way to find someone that deserves to be with you. If you're falling for people who don't value your inner beauty and are trying to change you, then you need to wake up and smell the roses. Those people aren't worth your time. Once you find that person who wants to know all your thoughts and dreams and aspirations, you'll know you can say goodbye to the pain of the past.
Love is an open door. Even Anna finds Kristoff after being "in love" with jerkface Hans. Go find your Kristoff. Begin to love again, and we can make this world a better place. Put yourself out there without fear of rejection; rejection is better than never knowing. Never settle for anything less than what you deserve, and forget what that one person put you through. They were stupid to leave a brilliant, beautiful, talented person such as yourself. Their loss, not yours. Keep positivity in mind the next time you see a couple acting lovey-dovey towards each other: Resist the fake puking face you make and smile with them. Love is a beautiful thing; it's a shame we give it such a bad rep simply because it didn't work out for us once.
Give love a chance and you'll see it work wonders. Not everything in life is worth suffering for, but for something as powerful as love, some people are worth every second.
