This short poem truly resonated with me and I think it will with others as well:
"If you love a flower,
don't pick it up.
Because if you pick
it up it dies and it
ceases to be what
you love.
So if you love a
flower, let it be.
Love is not about
possession.
Love is about
appreciation" - Osho
I have been surrounded by relationships my entire life. My own, my parents, my sisters and friends have all loved and lost and loved again. Upon reflection, I remember the negativity, sadness and pain that accompanies the love more than the beautiful benefits of experiencing it.
When I heard a song lyric say, “When you think of love do you think of pain?” and my immediate reaction was yes, I knew I had to delve deeper into this feeling. Seeing someone you love have their heart broken is a uniquely painful experience; you can not help them, and the one person who could have caused the pain itself. Letting someone be in control of your heart proves the immense power of love and how frightening that vulnerability can be. As I sit on the sidelines of the relationships around me, I witness so much dysfunction and stress that it makes me wonder, is it even worth it? The issues that are far too present in these relationships lay in the fears surrounding, jealousy, cheating and lack of attention. The belief that when you are in a relationship, the other person is ‘yours’ is the first and worst mistake. They are not ‘yours’ to have, and you are not giving yourself to another. You are with each other, growing, laughing and loving alongside each other as individuals. In a relationship, each person should strive to bolster the confidence of the other, watch them achieve their successes and celebrate with them. The moment the other person begins to detract from your growth and self of sense, the relationship will remain sadly stagnant, waiting for the fights to ensue.
When you stumble across a flower that you find exceptionally beautiful, you pick it, take it home and hide it from the rest of the world. You provide the flower water, a vase, sunlight and your admiration but nothing else. You have removed it from its roots and its world, and that life in unsustainable. Over time it will begin to wither and lose its beauty until it is discarded like every previous flower. If the flower was left in the ground and cared for everyday it would have continued to grow, prosper and maintain its beauty.
When we attribute love as possessing another, we demand too much and set standards that no one can match. We look at everyone else in their life as someone who they may leave us for and the time they spend on themselves, we simply view as time they do not want to spend with us. This mindset must change. It is extremely detrimental to both individuals involved and drains any of the initial magic of the love once shared. Do not let the other person halt your own growth, live individually alongside of the one you love.
Let the love be, water it, watch it grow and admire its beauty while admiring your own.
