As inflation continues its steady crawl and practically nothing costs less than a dollar, there has been a long-continuing conversation about whether the penny should be abolished from American currency. Some argue that because the cost of producing pennies far outweighs the benefit of having them, the penny should go away. But I argue that just because something has far outlived its purpose and is essentially meaningless in most tangible senses, it should not necessarily be eliminated. Here are some reasons as to why we can't get rid of the penny.

1. We need to recognize one of our greatest presidents, Abraham Lincoln, on some form of currency besides the five-dollar bill.
2. Something needs to give my Dyson vacuum a challenge.
3. Small circular objects need a symbol to rally around after Pluto was booted from the solar system.
4. $x.99 price format would be eliminated in favor of irrational full dollar prices.
5. Americans would be forced to spend at least 5 cents at wishing wells when they wish for something incredibly expensive for free.
6. The phrase “my two cents" would no longer have meaning, and the very foundation of freedom of speech would crumble.
7. Stubbornness to rational change is crucial to blind American pride.
8. The nickel may begin to think it's hot shit.
9. The episode of Seinfeld where Kramer pays for a calzone in pennies would no longer be funny or relevant, and the beloved show would fall risk of be cancelled.
10. Copper needs our support now more than ever.
11. The word “Penny" would mainly refer to the character on The Big Bang Theory, giving the show even more cultural power than it deserves.
12. Grandparents' rants involving things that used to cost a penny would be made longer by explaining to grandchildren what a penny is
13. If we eliminate the penny, what's next? Eliminating the dime? The dollar? Letting people marry their dogs?
14. Excitement of finding penny in your shoe 100 times in order to buy small bag of pretzels from vending machine would be gone.
15. Finding a lucky penny on the ground has been crucial to success and well-being of Americans for decades.
16. It's important to continue to argue about things like this in order to distract ourselves from important social issues.

Join the movement to save the penny. Tweet #SaveThePenny and pay for things in as many pennies as possible to show your support. Cashiers may not thank you, but America will.