I will be honest; I’ve had a grand total of one boyfriend in my whole life. So in my almost 21 years on Earth, I’ve been single for like 99 percent of it. Some might argue that I would feel different if I have had a lot of boyfriends but I’m glad that I haven’t had a lot. I think being single is especially important for women.

There are plenty of reasons being single is perfectly OK. For one thing, you can focus on yourself and all that you do. You don’t have to worry about making time for a boyfriend or date after a long day of work or classes. You can focus on everything that you need to get done and for me that’s important. As I go into my senior (and hardest) year with multiple clubs and committees and even an internship, I have an already jam-packed schedule. Although a boyfriend might be nice sometimes, I really don’t think that I have the time for one and I don’t want to commit to someone that I can’t really be around often. Dealing with a boyfriend or a breakup is the last thing I need to be worrying about in the next nine or ten months until graduation. Focusing on things that will help me in my future is my main objective right now and a boyfriend probably isn’t going to land me a job or career.

Being single means you don’t have to rely on someone else for anything whether that be happiness, money, or general fulfillment in your life. Go do that kayak day trip that’s offered at the river near you. Take a walk to your favorite bookstore downtown. You don’t need a guy with you to make those things fun. Focus on what you find entertaining and fulfilling. Not relying on a guy for happiness is one of the best things you can teach yourself. I have watched too many friends jump from boyfriend to boyfriend because they don’t know how to be alone. AS the rapper Webbie said “I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means?”

Honestly, dating stresses me out. Do I really want to dress up and go to some restaurant? Not really. I’d rather stay home and talk or watch an old favorite movie. I’m already a very stressed out person and adding dates and boyfriends to my list of stressors isn’t really something I want to do right now. I’ve never really been one of those people with an ideal first date but it’d probably be something related to staying in or having a little bonfire. I’m super low-key and don’t like a lot of money spent on me (unless you’d like to pay for my tuition or my car; then be my guest).

I’ve seen so many unhappy couples who are only together because they don’t want to be alone. This goes along with what I said before; be able to be on your own. Being reliant on someone else for your own happiness will just make you miserable. If you aren’t happy, drop the person; you don’t owe them anything. I don’t ever want to be with a guy just so I can’t be labeled as single.

Being single isn’t the end of the world. I watched my aunt be single for as long as I could remember but she had such an exciting and fulfilling life. She went on so many amazing trips and that might not have happened if she weren’t single (because she probably would’ve had to adjust or compromise to her significant other’s schedule). There is so much independence and freedom in not connecting yourself to another person.

Another reason I’m fine with being single is I can’t really see myself doing online dating and I’m not really meeting a lot of guys in-person. I’m a relatively shy person until I get to know someone so I don’t meet a whole lot of people until I’m forced into interaction (although I’m trying to work on that). I avoid online dating because I don’t really trust that people are being genuine with their profiles on apps like Tinder or Grinder. Also, I don’t want to walk into class or a meeting and realize I “matched” with or swiped right on someone in the class - hello, super awkward group project. No thanks.

Sure, sometimes I think about what it'd be like to have a boyfriend. It doesn't mean that I don't like being single; I think everyone thinks about having a significant other from time to time. Right now, I just don't think it's in the cards for me and that's fine. Don't think that I don't want to have one in the future. Being single isn't a permanent state of mind; it's just the reality of the moment. Don't think that I don't have any interest in marriage either but right now it doesn't make a lot of sense to think that far into the future when I don't even have a crush on anyone at the moment. Those sorts of thoughts and decisions will come in time, years down the road.

So no matter how many times I get asked “are you dating anyone?” or “when are you going to get a boyfriend?”, know that I really am ok with being single. There’s so much freedom and I have my future to focus on right now. When the right guy comes along, I’m sure it’ll work out, but for now, I remain happily single.