I am nice person.

I look for the best in others and will do just about anything to keep the ones around me happy. I want to keep the ones around me happy. I like keeping the ones around me happy. Because if they're happy, then I'm happy. Right?

This used be my mindset. For twenty years, this was my mantra. I'm glad I'm a nice person and I'm glad that I can can make people happy. That being said, there's a very distinct difference from being a nice person and letting people walk all over you. This was a lesson that I had to- no, needed to learn.

All my life I've been bending over backward to try and make those around me happy. I would tell myself time and time again that it was a good thing that I acted this way because karma is real and one day the same people I helped will be there to help me when my time comes. In actuality, I think I can count on one hand the amount of people who have put forth that same effort for me. And look I get it, everyone has their own problems but there comes a point where it feel less like I'm just being a good person and more that I'm just being taken advantage of.

I cannot tell you how many times I've forsaken my plans because it inconvenienced one of my friends and yet when the situation is reversed, I'm the one who has to suck it up. Or when I've hurt someone's feelings and immediately tried to make it right but when I'm the one who's been hurt, I'm just being too sensitive. This list goes on and on and on. And you know what? I'm done.

I am a nice person, but my kindness only goes so far. You can only use so much. Especially if you don't plan on giving me the same kindness and respect back. Because here's the thing; in order to receive kindness and respect, you have to give kindness and respect in return. Why should I have to sacrifice my happiness for someone who wouldn't give me the time of day? Why should I let my self be kicked around and stomped all over so someone else can get their way?

I'm tired of being told that my feelings of hurt or annoyance aren't valid. I'm tired of being treated like I'm only their for someone else's support. I'm tired of being a punching bag. I'm tired of being a doormat.

So, from here on out, I am demanding that I get treated with respect. I am demanding people start treating me well. I am demanding that people start treating my less like a means to an end and more like a human being. I'm a nice person and I always will be a nice person. I'm just not going to take any more crap.