3 AM.
This time seems to have a habit of doing the worst things to us. It brings up everything terrible. The heartbreaks, the heartaches, the insecurities, the ultimate pit of sadness. It's that kind of sadness that hurts your chest and makes your body feel numb as every possible thought runs through your mind.
We all have those times, but we keep them to ourselves. It's similar to the way that we're all broken people. We're all a composure of puzzle pieces, but we try to blur out the cracks to other people. But like I said, we're all broken. The sad thing is that no one has ever told us that it's okay.
When we have every one of our thoughts laid out in front of us, it makes us feel like the biggest mess of a person. We are able to analyze every little thing and we think, this is it. This is the bottom everyone talks about. But I truly think we need these moments. How else would we understand what being happy really means? How else would you be able to appreciate the joy that seems to come from sunlight when it comes through the sides of your curtains in the morning? It brings a much better feeling than the darkness of 3AM.
With our minds running at a million miles a minute, tears will probably happen. This is when people tend to automatically classify themselves as crazy. I'm not sure at what point we convinced ourselves that crying was the ultimate sign of being weak, but it's not. Why else would we all have the ability to do so? We need to cry out the stress of life and feel so much better when we do. Sometimes we need a good cry, and that is what comes from the late nights. And you feel so much better when you do.
You know what rock bottom means: the only way to go from there is back up. Now, these 3AM mind-races aren't always rock bottom, but they surely do feel like it in the moment. Maybe these 3am breakdowns aren't the best for you, but they are what you decide to make of them. Will you let them dictate how you feel when the sun is out, or will you let them let out all the build-up you have in your head? Let your mind process and sort all the stuff in your head. Your mind can only hold so much; we would all go insane if we didn't do it.
