After a series of relationships that I once pictured to be my forever, I’m left wondering if that is actually going to be a thing for me. Forever. When I say forever, I’m talking about the kind that you spend with your best friend, in a pretty house, with lots of dogs. Like the #relationshipgoals kind of forever.
With that being said, there’s no doubt in my mind that I will make my solo-mission of forever successful, and look good doing it. However, as time goes on, I wonder if it is actually for me to be that compatible with someone else. Somehow, I find comfort in this thought process because before, I was desperate to find the one. In hindsight of what’s occurred in my life thus far, I appreciate the fact that I’m no longer jumping at every opportunity in an attempt to be with someone new.
We all want someone to love and care about us in a romantic sense.
Sometimes this longing clouds our judgment of what kind of person we’re letting love us. If we were all a little more careful of whom we let in to begin with, we wouldn’t be living with the fear that everyone is out to hurt us. The “happy-butterfly” feeling sometimes gets in the way of what a person is really like, or maybe we jump too quickly, because what person is going to let you see all of their flaws from the very beginning? It happens all too often that girls are plagued with the idea that all men are the same. It’s simply unfair and very sad because they are most definitely not. We just fail to keep our guard up at the right time and also fail to let it down for the right people.
Don’t settle.
A guy can be the nicest, most attractive human and it is still possible for him not to be the one. Don’t feel bad for letting him go and being honest about it. Being with someone shouldn’t feel like work. It shouldn’t feel like you have to make conversations or chemistry happen. It should be easy. Being with the one should make your soul feel like it's on fire, and you should feel more alive than you did before. All too often, we want to find this feeling so bad, we make something out to be what it isn’t, and I’m guilty of this as much as the next one.
Learn who you are, truly. It is almost impossible to be unsure of the person you honestly are and be successful with someone else. Just take my advice. If you know who you are and you’re firm on that, it is less likely that a person will try to change your thoughts about yourself, and it is more likely that you wont let it get to that point. This goes along with the sentiment learn to love yourself fully before you let anyone else attempt to do so. At this point in my life, this is something to live by. Fortunately, I realize that I’m not yet a lover of all of my pieces and that’s okay. I just know I’m not ready to let someone else try to love them yet, either.
Reflect and reflect often. My number one strategy for success in the process above is to be mindful, meta-cognitive and reflective. I think something we take for granted all too often is our own thought process. It is ever so important to take it into consideration.
My mom always said, “If something doesn’t feel right inside, it probably isn’t.”
So why do we all have such a hard time listening to our gut?
I know that many times, I’ve thought about things in the relationship I was in at the time that made me feel uncomfortable, and then I would push that feeling away. What we really should be doing is letting that feeling in, breaking it down and acting upon it versus trying to make it go away.
Finally, don’t let what’s happened in your past change the way you love – in a negative way. Learn from everything that you’ve experienced, but don’t let it inhibit you from finding the forever that you may not necessarily be looking for at this time, but eventually would like to encounter.
