2019 Will Be Different For Me Because I Will Make Consistent, Sustainable Changes

2019 Will Be Different For Me Because I Will Make Consistent, Sustainable Changes

I know I say this every year but...


As the new year rolls around, many of us continue to partake in the time-honored tradition of setting goals and resolutions for us to inevitably give up on as February rolls around. Oftentimes, they're goals that are tied to our sense of self- eat healthier, lose weight, do better in school/job, buy a house, etc. They're ways we can continue to better ourselves as a person, in various aspects of life.

Many people argue that since we know that making New Year resolutions are synonymous with failure, there is no real point in creating them in the first place since we know that we'll fall back on them sooner or later, it'll be better to save face and dignity than to go back on our word. While this may be true, it is important to examine the goal itself and our methods of achieving them. For example, say your goal is to lose weight.

You completely overhaul your gym, nutrition and life habits, but eventually, it gets harder and harder to stick to as time goes on. Before you know it, you'll fall back to your old lifestyle because "going to the gym at 6:00 was just not working with my schedule". It might happen rapidly, it might happen gradually, but eventually, it is bound to happen.

However, despite this what seems to be imminent downfall of my ideal self, I still find myself being caught up in the magic of New Year's Eve. I continually am a sucker for the idea of a fresh start, new experiences, and the creation of goals- this year was no different. However, something that I did change this year was how I made my goals. For me, 2018 turned out to be a frustrating year- one full of disappointments and detours, but it was also a year of learning. Learning what worked and what didn't, learning what I loved and what I hated, and most importantly identifying exactly what about myself and my life I wanted to change. I carried these lessons over to my resolutions for 2019, and just this step of being more self-reflective and insightful led to changes that will hopefully stick far beyond the New Year.

The most important step for me was knowing what my motivation behind each goal was. This year, I specifically created a goal of journaling every night. However, when making this goal I made sure to remind myself of the reason behind the action- the benefit of self-reflection, of learning from my mistakes, and also a chance to take a moment to talk and check-in with myself. Additional to having a clear motivation, I implemented a specific action. In my example of journaling, I then set an alarm on my phone every night to remind me to journal that day.

Setting goals is intrinsic to human nature, and perhaps is the most important way for all of us to continue to improve and push ourselves to be the best we can be. Especially at my age, having many goals to look forward to and accomplish can seem overwhelming and impossible. The key is making sustainable, consistent changes. Without consistent changes, everything continues to stay the same. Learning this was one of the hardest and most powerful lessons of my 2018- albeit the most necessary for me to learn. That lesson I carried into the first days of 2019, and hope to carry not just this year but all throughout my life.

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The Truth About Young Marriage

Different doesn't mean wrong.

When I was a kid, I had an exact picture in my mind of what my life was going to look like. I was definitely not the kind of girl who would get married young, before the age of 25, at least.

And let me tell you, I was just as judgmental as that sentence sounds.

I could not wrap my head around people making life-long commitments before they even had an established life. It’s not my fault that I thought this way, because the majority opinion about young marriage in today’s society is not a supportive one. Over the years, it has become the norm to put off marriage until you have an education and an established career. Basically, this means you put off marriage until you learn how to be an adult, instead of using marriage as a foundation to launch into adulthood.

When young couples get married, people will assume that you are having a baby, and they will say that you’re throwing your life away — it’s inevitable.

It’s safe to say that my perspective changed once I signed my marriage certificate at the age of 18. Although marriage is not always easy and getting married at such a young age definitely sets you up for some extra challenges, there is something to be said about entering into marriage and adulthood at the same time.

SEE ALSO: Finding A Husband In College

Getting married young does not mean giving up your dreams. It means having someone dream your dreams with you. When you get lost along the way, and your dreams and goals seem out of reach, it’s having someone there to point you in the right direction and show you the way back. Despite what people are going to tell you, it definitely doesn’t mean that you are going to miss out on all the experiences life has to offer. It simply means that you get to share all of these great adventures with the person you love most in the world.

And trust me, there is nothing better than that. It doesn’t mean that you are already grown up, it means that you have someone to grow with.

You have someone to stick with you through anything from college classes and changing bodies to negative bank account balances.

You have someone to sit on your used furniture with and talk about what you want to do and who you want to be someday.

Then, when someday comes, you get to look back on all of that and realize what a blessing it is to watch someone grow. Even after just one year of marriage, I look back and I am incredibly proud of my husband. I’m proud of the person he has become, and I’m proud of what we have accomplished together. I can’t wait to see what the rest of our lives have in store for us.

“You can drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21, and retire at 65. So who can say what age you have to be to find your one true love?" — One Tree Hill
Cover Image Credit: Sara Donnelli Photography

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Why You Should Bring Your Close Friend As Your Formal Date

Before asking that cute girl to formal think about asking a friend


Every year since I was a junior in high school I have always looked forward to homecoming or prom. When I got to college I began to look forward to my fraternity formal. I was never concerned with what to wear or the expense of formal but rather who I was going to ask. It can be difficult to make a decision. If you ask anyone friends with me they will tell you how I am one of the most indecisive people out there. There are so many people I am friendly with or have a close relationship that it can feel difficult to make a decision. But let's look at that phrase again. You might think why does he want to bring someone who is his friend to his fraternity formal rather than someone he likes or is dating. To answer this question, some of the girls I have liked I have not been able to be the true me around and that also applies to the girls I have dated as well. I am different around my friends and I want someone to know the real me rather than me just having to pretend.

Maybe I am still experiencing the effects of a fun weekend but I have noticed that every formal or prom that I have brought a date with not only was a fun formal but interacted and connected well with my friends. That is the main thing I look for in a formal date, they need to be liked by my friends and many of them are still pretty friendly after the formal. You are spending the weekend with them and the drive down for you formal. There will be a lot of time spent with your date so it is important to bring someone you know you will have fun with. I am not saying that there isn't anything wrong with bringing someone else but I always found it best to bring a friend if you are not dating someone.

Think about the people you know you will always have fun with. This can be an indication of who you should bring and why but you should also think about the positives in this situation. Your fun and the time spent with the people should be prioritized before anything else. This event is about you and you should have someone with you that you know is fun to be around and someone you can enjoy yourself around along with your friends. Friends know you as well as you know yourself so there is not an idea of having to pretend to be someone else. The good thing about friends is that you do not run out of things to talk about and there is always something new to learn. Take your formal as a trip that you get to experience with the people closest to you. That is my take.

The key for me is to know that I will have fun with my date at formal. The drive to formal can be long and you are sharing a hotel room with your date along with spending time with them during the trip. I talk a lot. I want someone I know who I can carry a conversation with and will not just respond with words such as Yeah or Sounds good. I have always been able to remember not only my formals but specific parts of it as well. I think this is possible because of who I have brought and the memories I made with them.

Formals are important to everyone so think about who you want to spend that moment with. There is nothing wrong with bringing someone who you like but there also is nothing wrong with bringing a friend. Some people might bring someone they are dating but you should not have to compare yourself to other people. Do what makes you happy but remember this weekend is about you and you deserve to bring someone you will have fun with.

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