The other day I was having a conversation about musical taste with someone. I mentioned a band I was into, and he seemed shocked. “Who are you?” he queried. Now, this is someone who I would say knows me pretty well. I would say he knows who I am. This being the case, his question stopped me in my tracks. I paused and said, “Actually, I’m still figuring that out myself.”

The question, "Who are you?" is a loaded one and one that most everyone has been asked at one point or another during their life. Of course, people set out to "find themselves" every single day. This journey is different for everyone, and it’s a very individualized one. Some people pull an "Eat, Pray, Love," some change college majors, some pack up and move, others switch shows on Netflix. My friend’s simple question got me thinking about who I really am, and during my quest, I managed to learn a lot about myself.

When I was in elementary school, I thought my sweater vest-gaucho combo was incredibly chic, and I spent far more of my time in the library than on the playground. I sat at a lunch table with like-minded kids. We talked about nerdy things – the "Harry Potter" books, PBS shows and class projects. I watched the "popular kids" from across the cafeteria, clad in their Abercrombie Jr. outfits and chattering about the latest craze. They lived in a different world, one that was incredibly intimidating to a kid like me. I was labeled as a “dork” from first through fourth grades, and to a certain degree, I was content with that. I liked my friends, I liked school, I would rather read than play dodge ball and I knew there wasn’t anything wrong with this per se. I was pretty comfortable in my own skin. I didn’t care what others thought of me. I figured that as long as I was happy in my life, that was sufficient.

Then, fifth grade happened. Suddenly, being "cool" was imperative to social survival. I befriended a girl who was very popular. Luckily, she was also good friends with the drama geeks (like me) because she was in the school play with us. She bridged the very wide gap between the world of “dork” and “cool” by taking me under her wing. When you are 11 years old, you are at the height of insecurity, vulnerability and awkwardness. For many, this period can ultimately persist until high school, longer for some. My new friend and I would sit in my bedroom and pick out my "coolest" outfits. She even loaned me a necklace, surprised that I never wore jewelry. She gave me her Abercrombie and Hollister cast-offs and convinced me to get a drastic haircut. I was soon transformed with layered locks, a blue choker and an inappropriately short skirt. My parents looked at me with trepidation. In just a few days, I had auspiciously altered my entire persona. Suited in Hollister armor, I was prepared to begin middle school in style.

Then, we moved. In our new town, I was the only girl in my class with brown hair. I didn’t play lacrosse or soccer, and I certainly was not a cheerleader. The drama club was nearly non-existent, and my choir sang predominantly pop songs – songs I didn’t know. I was a fish out of water and found myself readjusting yet again. For the next three years, I struggled to find a version of myself I liked, and by eighth grade, I had reverted back to my "dorky" self, readily surrendering any and all remnants of that "cool" girl.

My first two years of high school were much of the same. Sometimes, I felt as if I was different person every day. I floated from group to group, lunch table to lunch table, club to club, everywhere from the school newspaper to the drama club to the softball team to GSA to the morning news show to yearbook committee. Despite the fact that I was notably involved in school life, I didn’t seem to really belong anywhere. In my heart I knew I shouldn’t conform to be what the general consensus considered faddish or simply uniform and normal. During my sophomore year of high school, I stumbled upon a performing arts boarding school while doing research for a school project on "mainstream culture in the high school setting." I transferred to that school the following year, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made.

Kids who go to performing arts schools are quite individualistic, and it was awesome. We were all “weird,” and we embraced each other’s quirks, passions and individual journeys. There was little judgement and a lot of love. Of course, it was still high school, and with that, comes ups and downs. However, the ethos of the school encouraged collaboration and exploration. Here, I was emboldened to delve deeply into my art and explore how art informed who I was as a person and, hopefully by graduation, to have learned to love that person. By graduation, I did love the person I had become, and I was ready for college.

Since starting college, I’ve continued to grow and have gone through both exciting and challenging learning experiences. I can say, with certainty, I am a very different person than I was on the day of my high school graduation; however, I am more comfortable in my own skin than ever before.

So, returning to this question: "Who are you?" I think who you are is a combination of who you’ve been and who you aspire to be. I am every book I checked out from the library. I am my worn out high top sneakers and my sweater vests. I am my layered haircut and the only brunette in science class. I am every birthday wish I’ve ever made and every Christmas present I’ve ever opened. I am every horrible heartbreak and every moment of utter bliss. I am every adventure, aspiration, challenge, failure and success.

Take some time to think about who you are. Think about everything in your life that has shaped you into the person you are right this second, right in this particular moment because once that second passes, you will be different. You might be surprised at what you learn about yourself. As human beings, we have no choice but to live in the unexpected and to try to embrace that. We are in a constant state of learning who we are and wondering who we’ll become. Give yourself permission to be in a constant state of wonder. Enjoy the unexpected. Seek out opportunities that will help you learn and grow. Most importantly, always aim to be a better person than you were the day before. Love yourself, whoever that may be. So, friend, to answer your question, I am me. I am me right now, but this is subject to change.