I think we could all agree that there has always been at least some anxiety that comes with dating. Not just the initial phone call (or text because honestly who calls a stranger they meet at a bar the night before now) or the actual date itself. Everything is fine (hopefully) until the server comes by your table, cleans up your dishes and drops off the check.
So… who pays?
Before the rise of dual-income, everyone would agree that the man pays without a question. Women used to be seen as financially helpless creatures that needed to be taken care of at all times. Heavy doors? We can't pull them. Checks? We can't afford them.
Now that tradition has shifted along with the feminist movement, there seems to be an ambiguous gray area around what men should or shouldn't do for women. If the guy decides to pick up the tab, will the woman get offended or will she be flattered?
Let's make a couple points clear.
Women are strong and fierce, no doubt. We know how to take care of ourselves and we work just as hard as our male counterparts.
However, we women still like to be taken care of from time to time. We like to be taken out on dates, and we think it is a nice gesture for the guy to pay.
But, us women should also do the same for our men from time to time, as well.
This is what I think: I think that chivalrous gestures should be out of respect, not out of tradition.
Both genders are equally as capable of respect. That's what the whole feminist movement is about. Not the hatred of men or becoming completely equal to them (if that were the case, men could punch women in a bar over a spilled drink without question). I view feminism as advocating for more respect in society, politics and in the workplace.
Although both men and women are now equally as capable of paying for dates, there are a few things to keep in mind.
When you start dating a person, you should want to do nice things for them. On a first date, the guy should want to pay, but the girl should want to chip in as well. How do you decide?
Whoever initiates the date should be fully ready to pick up the tab at the end. It would be incredibly rude to invite someone to a really nice restaurant without taking into consideration their financial situation and expect them to pay their half. You invited them, it is your treat. This goes for both genders. If you're not willing to foot the bill, don't initiate super expensive dates. Simple as that.
If you're in a relationship and dates are a more common thing, it would make more sense to pay your half or at least take turns paying for each other. Communicate with each other to decide where your boundaries lie and go from there.
Ladies, don't just expect your man to have a never ending wallet that will pay for your every meal. But guys, keep in mind that although your woman might be independent and strong AF, she wouldn't mind being taken out every so often. These statements also apply both ways.
No matter how independent you are, male or female, you still like to be taken care of occasionally (don't lie). I think it is fair for both parties to want to take care of one another, but neither should expect to be taken care of. Be reasonable, show respect, communicate and get rid of your expectations.
It's 2018.
