From The Girl Who Lost A Sibling

From The Girl Who Lost A Sibling

My story.
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At only five years old, my world was rocked. September 14th of 2004 would be a day to forever haunt me. A day I could have never seen coming. I had always wanted to be a big sister. I was so excited when I found out I’d be getting a baby brother. It was absolutely a dream come true. As soon as my brother was born, my happiness didn’t stop.

I loved being his big sister. I loved to help with feeding, bathing, changing, anything to be close to him. I loved him. I loved him so much. I can’t remember the 14th perfectly, but I hope I kissed his little head goodbye on my way out to the door to school. Unfortunately, it would be the last time.

The day was confusing from the start. Why was my mom’s friend picking me up from school? Why couldn’t I go home? Why couldn’t I go play with my baby brother? And later, why are my parents in tears? And finally, why did this have to happen? That one had no answer. My mom had been holding my beautiful brother when all of a sudden, he stopped breathing. There was no warning. There was no way to help him. The next few months, years even, were a blur. All I remember was sadness. But the years after? I remember hope.

The Ryan Wolfe Kossar Foundation was founded to prevent this tragedy from happening to more families. While unknown to many, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) takes the lives of over 2,000 infants a year. Infants just like my brother. Infants with loving families just like mine. So, I will continue to share his story - through the foundation, through word, and now through my writing. I will share until no other sibling has to come home from school to find out they were an only child again.

And to my baby brother, I love and miss you every day, Ryan. It’s surreal to me you would be a teenager today. I wonder what you’d be like. I like to think you’d love baseball like me and your daddy. I like to think you’d look like me, with big green eyes and a big smile. I like to think we’d be so close. I know we’d be so close. We are so close.

I can still talk to you. I can still thank you for being my guardian angel. I can thank you for giving me strength through struggles and guiding me through life. I want to make you proud. I want you to smile down on me. I hope you do. I’m proud of you. I’m inspired by you. I live for you. And I love you.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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A Thank You To My Boyfriend's Family

Because you are so important to him, you are important to me.
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This one isn't easy to sit down and write because nothing I could say would do all of you justice in the way that I would hope I could. These are just words, but I hope that I am able to always show my thank you to you by treating him like the prince he is.

I can replay the moment of meeting each and every one of you all over and over in my head like it was yesterday. I was so extremely nervous every single time and I was trying to gather all the "right" things to say that would leave a good, first-lasting impression and that at the end of the day, you all would like me.

I think one of the most important basis and hopes in my relationship is that my significant other's family likes who I am. This is so important to me because whatever is important to him is equally important to me and your thoughts of me are crucial to our relationship.

The second I walked in the door, I was overwhelmed—overwhelmed with such a love. I had no idea at that point in time just how much you would all mean to me and how thankful I am for all of you!

Thank you for constantly making me laugh and feel at home.

Whenever I'm coming over for a family gathering or just to hang out, I know right off that I am walking into a world of laughter and good times are right beside that. You are all so entertaining and always have a good story to tell me. I can't name one time where I didn't feel like I was home.

And I appreciate the sweet, embarrassing photos and stories about my boyfriend that you all share with me! Even if it is by a photo, I have a glimpse of what his life has always been like thanks to each and every one of you individually.

Thank you for sharing your special moments in life with me.

You don't ever have to, but you invite me anyway. Whether it's just a family gathering, a birthday, or a holiday, I am thankful to have spent those times celebrating these moments in life alongside such amazing people. It's humbling and heartwarming to be a part of memories so unforgettable that you all share and that you have welcomed me to be a part of. They are days that I will never forget and have a place in my heart forever.

Thank you for always being there for him.

Since we have started dating, I have watched the way that you guys love him. I have watched the individual relationships and moments that you share with him make a difference in who he is. I have seen you all love and support him, no matter what he was doing.

With everything that comes along in life, this has been a simple reminder of an unconditional, loving, sacrificing family that is also the best support system. You are not only impacting him, but me, too.

Thank you for welcoming me in like your own.

Whenever you have to brave up and meet your significant other's family, I can say, for myself, that I didn't know what to expect. As I'm sure, none of you did when meeting me. Today, I catch myself wondering why I even worried in the first place. You all have welcomed me in your own ways and made me feel right at home. It is not always easy to do that with just anyone, but you have all taken the time to get to know me. And now I know that if I ever needed anything, I can call one of you.

Thank you for letting me date him.

I am most thankful for this. Thank you for sharing him with me and giving me a chance to show you all how important he is to me. I never thought that I would luck out and meet someone as special, kind, and wonderful as he is, but I did.

You have supported our relationship, given me a chance to love him, and welcomed me to new adventures in love and family. I have the upmost gratitude for each of you. You are the most wonderful, welcoming, and loving family. I am overjoyed to be able to experience just a glimpse of this life with him and with all of you.

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College Has Definitely Changed My Relationship With My Siblings, But We're Still As Close As Ever

College will change your life in several aspects; including the relationship you have with your siblings.

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I was raised to always put family first and I would like to think that I have. I am the oldest of three; we are extremely close. We were always with each other growing up and would have the occasional fight. We acted just like every other pair of siblings. However, I moved to college and a lot has changed since then.

I moved to college a year ago and have loved every minute of it. I always communicate with my family so I know what happens when I am not home. However, I still miss a lot.

I missed watching my brother grow into a man. He was a baby when I left and magically grew 6 inches in the short time I was gone. I missed his junior prom; which wasn't a big deal to him but it was to me. I missed watching his personality grow into who he is now. I missed seeing his love for life grow through the year I was away. I get to hear about his life goals after he has already decided instead of being in the process with him.

My sister is now as tall as I am which is shocking to me considering she was shoulder level when I moved. She grew overnight in my opinion. I feel like I missed a lot with my sister. She was maturing into a young woman. She had to learn how to apply makeup properly from someone else rather than me. I missed several dances of hers where my mom did her hair rather than me doing it. She had to do school work with the help of the internet rather than me. I missed a lot with her because she was younger when I left.

However, even though I missed all of these important life events they still make me feel included when I am miles away. They send me pictures of outfits and ask my opinion, send me examples of homework, and ask how my life is going. They make sure to include me which makes me feel great.

When I visit home is when it is the best though. They make it seem like we have been together this whole time. We are back on the roasting, arguing, and annoying each other. They pack enough in at every visit because after a while I am ready to be back in my apartment and they are waiting too. However, our love is strong and will never be destroyed; we just have to wait longer to annoy each other.

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