The other day while I was in the grocery store of my home town, I had a conversation, with a lovely older lady, who asked if she knew my mother. I instantly thought, "Yes," because I knew she knew the mother of the family next door, a women I had always seen as my mother, but was not my true mother.
I lost my mother at the young age of 10, a time when I really needed a mother figure. While my true mother will always be my loving biological mother, I cannot deny that she is not the prominent mother figure in my life, that honor belongs to my grandmother.
My grandmother moved in to help raise me after my mother passed. For years, it was most just me and her in the house; my father worked shift work.
She had a what I call a much older style of parenting. She was strict, but she taught me manner, etiquette, and most importantly she taught she was far too wise to be fooled by my childish mind.
The next influential mother figure in my life was my father's second wife. An amazing and excessively sweet lady who taught me compassion, love, and kindness. She taught me love can be used as a parenting tool just as much as discipline.
Another mother figure in my life was the mother of my childhood friend and neighbor. She always welcomed me into her home with open arms. I felt as much at home there as I did in my own house. In fact at some parts in my childhood I felt more comfortable there than in my own home. I knew when ever things got bad at home, I could just walk across my yard to my second home. That amazing women taught me the impact hospitality can have on a child's life.
The last motherly figure to come into my life has been my dads current girl friend and partner. A smart and beautiful women, she has enlightened me and helped me with many life decisions. While my dad gives advice almost completely based on logic and reason, she can bring a more spiritual element to her advice giving. She taught me to go with your heart sometimes, while still paying attention to logic.
These women are far more to me than just second mothers. They are very influential motherly figures that have had a more of an impact on my life then they could have every imagined.
I do count the lose of my mother as a tremendous lose, but I can also look at the positives.
While I will always wish my mother would have survived, I must accept reality. I choose to look at the positive fact that while I lost my true mother, I gained four, as a direct result of her passing, and that has made me a better person.
