Recently my step-grandmother passed, and I am out of town, so I was unable to attend the funeral. My boyfriend was planning on going for both of us. While we were talking about it, the question came up: who are funerals for, the one who passed or the ones left behind grieving.If they are for the dead, they would be for sending them over to the after life. If they are for the ones left behind they are for closure.

Say funerals are for the one who has passed. That would mean that people at funerals are there to help the souls pass on to the next life. This would mean that all these people believe that there is a soul and something after death, be it another life, heaven, reincarnation, etc. This can't be the case because not everyone believes in those things. Even people who don't have a religion or aren't spiritual have funerals.

So that would mean funerals are for the living. People have funerals to get the closure, they need to continue living. They go to pay the respects to the family and friends of the person and to celebrate the life that has been lost. Death is so unpredictable, a lot of people never get to say goodbye to there loved ones before they die. Funerals are a way to remember the person and to say their goodbyes.

Some people go to funerals of people they barely knew, to support the family and friends of the person who passed. That's another reason funerals are for the living. They are a chance to bring people together, to mourn and to support each other. Dealing with the fact that you will no longer be able to see someone, talk to them, or hold them is an extremely difficult thing. Having other people share in that pain, and let you talk it out or cry it out with them is a great thing.

I don't mind that I missed the funeral. I love her so much and will miss her everyday but it was her time. Knowing that she is no longer in pain or having to deal with going to doctors all the time is all the closure I need, but if you or someone you know is struggling in a similar situation here are a few ways to get what you need. Understand that grief needs to run it's course so there will be an adjustment period.

Get together with friend and family who knew the person and talk about your favorite memories with them.

Let yourself be reminded of them.

Do something in there name, like plant a tree or donate to charity.

Take care of yourself.

Let yourself cry.

Visit their grave or a place that has a strong affiliation with them.