Spring Break: a time to take a break from classes and worry about the more important things in life, such as partying and Instagram-worthy photos.
A lot goes into preparing for the greatest week of your life before you leave home. First the exercising and dieting, packing, and planning. Then comes the actual traveling part.
I take my spring break body very seriously. A strict regimen of mac-n-cheese and ice-cream is really all you need to get that killer beach body you're angsting for. Although, there’s nothing quite like starving yourself. That feeling of nothingness in your stomach really boosts your self esteem. Of course, you can lose those last measly 20 lbs that keep holding on in only 2 weeks. It’s all about telling yourself you don’t need food and then using the elliptical in the gym for 2 hours.
However, there are alternative healthy ways to lose weight fast, like taking laxatives. Recently, I had a run in with these magic beans for the purpose they are meant for, and let me tell you, it was anything but a “lit” experience. The average person should sh*t about once or twice a day, let’s just multiply that number by 10 and say it wasn’t fun or natural. In conclusion, I would highly recommend laxatives to everyone I dislike.
Another thing to do in preparation is packing. To some, packing is the best part about traveling. What am I going to wear every single day? How can I fit 20 pairs of shoes in my suitcase? I probably need all the bathing suits I own just in case, right? Those are just a few of the grappling questions our generation struggles with. I would pop a few more of those magic beans just to avoid the thought of packing.
Once the packing is done and you have the great spring break body (all natural, of course), you cant forget the vital step of getting that tan glow, before you even see the ocean! I really suggest using a tanning bed every day; who cares about the possibility of cancer, right? It's all worth it for the Instagram likes. Now, if you are against tanning beds there is always spray tanning. Of course, you must opt for the darkest option. I think you should be so tan that people should question your ethnicity from what it normally is.
Finally, you are looking your best and can, at last, enjoy your spring break. Remember to only post the pictures when it is optimal posting time and your probability of getting a lot of likes is high. Also, make sure to eat everything that comes in sight because that makes sense, right? Working so hard to get a great figure and then eating the worst possible foods when it comes time for the actual thing you were preparing for. Lastly, make sure to post everything on your snap chat story, even that Starbucks you that is the same everywhere else, but it is in a different state. Don't fret, everyone still cares.
