I’ve been meaning to write this article for a while now, but I didn’t really know how I’d be perceived. Racist? Probably. Homophobic? Most definitely. But the truth is, I write this article from a place of frustration, not hate.

Before you take out your pitchforks and torches or in this case, your laptops and cellphones, first hear me out.

1. When I say “White Gay Man,” I am not referring to all White gay men, this should be obvious. There are lots of gay White males out there who definitely understand their privilege and can acknowledge the intersections of our struggles.
2. So why even use White Gay at all? Well, like the White feminist, I have found that the majority of the problems have come straight from the White gay community, and even though it’s not exclusive to them, that community has definitely perpetuated some very problematic ideas about what it means to be gay in our society.

I want to begin by talking a little bit about gay marriage. Before 2015, massive protests and marches were launched in support of gay marriage nationwide. People waving rainbow flags and screaming for equality flooded major streets all over the United States. Now, I was very young when I first started to hear about these protests, so I hopped on the bandwagon and began to march myself. I prided myself in my no H8 stickers and my “Born this way” T-shirts. However, once I got to college and I began to start looking at the world with a much more critical lens, and I started to notice a few things:

1. Where are all the people of color?
2. What happened to the “B” and the “T” in LGBT?
3. Aren’t there bigger problems out there than just gay marriage? Trans people being killed at ridiculous rates, homelessness in the LGBT community, racism within the gay community, just to name a few.

I have a theory about this, and because I want to make sure we are all on the same page here. The only thing that separated White gay males from having the same privileges as White heterosexual males was their ability to marry. After that got passed in 2015, there was even more silence from the gay community about trans and other LGBT issues.

More recently, after the election result came out and it was discovered the Mike Pence was a bigoted homophobe and that Trump could potentially revoke gay marriage in the United States, once again the LGBT movement could be heard. However, there was silence about the undocumented LGBT folks who were now more prone to deportation. And silence in regards to Muslim LGBT folks who faced constant death threats.

And this happens way too often with minority groups, specifically, minority groups who are not quite at the top, but close to it. A perfect example of this would be Peter Liang, an Asian rookie police officer who murdered Akai Gurley, a Black father, in a dark staircase of an apartment building in 2014. After Liang's conviction, Asian protesters cried “unfair” when Liang was punished for his actions while White officers with the same offenses weren’t. And while this may be very true, the protesters weren’t asking for equality, they were asking to have the same privileges as the White male police officers. And it’s the same thing that is happening with the LGBT movement. White gay males aren’t asking for all of us to be treated humanely and with respect, they are asking for Gay Marriage, the one thing that denies them the same privileges as White heterosexual males. A Black Transgender female is shot dead and there is silence, but God forbid we ever deny the privilege of a White gay couple to marry.

You see, the same White gay male who marches for “equality” when it comes to marriage is the same person who stays at home when there’s a #BlackLivesMatter protest happening. It is the same person who will write “Into Asian and Whites only” on their Tinder profile. It is the same person who will rap Nicki Minaj and think it’s okay to say the N word because they’re “oppressed” too. And the same person who will vote third party because fuck all the undocumented LGBT folks who are now fearing for their lives.

Gay marriage isn’t the only example where we can see this problem, but it is a big one. When it comes to issues of racism, sexism, and islamophobia many White Gays will stay silent, or worse they will perpetuate it. Recently I came across a White gay male who thought it was okay to make a joke about Trump winning the election, literally minutes after it was announced. The reason he thought and probably still thinks it was okay to do something like that is because he considers himself a victim as well, but we have to understand that even though one of our identities may be oppressed, we have privileged ones as well.

Now I want to end with these points just in case anyone is misunderstanding what my point are in this piece.

1. To be White and Gay does not make you a terrible person. Hell, even to just be White doesn’t make you a bad person. But you have to recognize your privilege and use it to be an ally to those communities who are struggling way more than you are.
2. Marriage equality is an important issue for the LGBT community, but it is not the only one worth fighting for.
3. Many organizations out there, including the LGBT center at UCI, have been working tirelessly to create programs, implement change, and ensure safe spaces, for LGBT folks outside of the White race, and that should be celebrated.

So... if you’re a White Gay out there and you’re reading this, please do better.