Love is quite a difficult concept. From joyful childhood years and naïve adolescence to awkward puberty and mid-life crises, all of humankind tends to wrestle with the weight of a word that does not always look as universal as it deems itself to be. What is love? How do we love well? Why do we love? Why should we love?
I am not simply talking about the heartbreak one experiences after a silly boy crush dissipates, or the deep longings of a woman’s soul to be pursued, sought after, and wanted. Love makes its home in the foundation of each human being, whether that affection is tangibly displayed through physical acts, encouraging words, or the exchange of a smile. Love also takes on the identity of a seemingly-trustworthy individual, repetitive in gifts and doting attention, yet may be inconsistent in angry outbursts of violence and cold, harsh words. The significance of love has sinisterly, menacingly, masked itself with the twisted aspects of this world; often times, so much so that the true meaning hardens the hearts of those who claim to have been loved once in their lifetime. How did we get to be so jaded and closed-off to any semblance of intimacy that makes its way in our direction?
One may argue that love does not always require a mutual give-and-take from both or multiple parties, but rather, any willful decision of an individual that selflessly benefits anything and anyone besides said individual. I am of the belief that love does not manifest itself through impingement upon another, nor does it force an agenda. Love is unconditional and boundless. It abides within the corners of a developing relationship, and on the outskirts of a single display of charity. Unfortunately, this does not discount the difficulty that acting in love may bring, whether by personal or circumstantial hindrances. It has come to my attention that in order to give love wholly and authentically, we must adopt a posture of humility and surrender to our own humanity. May we never be ashamed of this reality, despite its brokenness and sheer ugliness in parts. May we come to recognize that our humanity can be shared with others in a way that comforts and supports them, letting them know that they are not alone in their journey. This is love at its very core.
On days where I struggle to find the joy in the mundane, I have to remind myself of the bigger picture. Instead of shrinking away from the fear that drives insecurity, engaging in vulnerability actually reveals more than just the dark secrets of our past; we open ourselves up to the beauty of personal stories and solidarity in similar battles. There is a connection that runs deep through our veins, deeper than a half-hearted hug or a feebly-attempted “good morning”. We begin to familiarize ourselves with asking for help, not only when we need it the most, but when we realize that we cannot do it all on our own. To love is to act. To love is to be uncomfortable. To love is to empathize. To love is to sacrifice. To love is to simply be.
