Where Are The Stand Up Men?

Where Are The Stand Up Men?

Yes. "Manspreading" is an actual thing.
674
views

Lately, I’ve been noticing something. Men don’t give women their seat anymore. Not in a college classroom, not on the bus, not even in a waiting room. Men refuse to leave their chair in order for a woman to sit. Now don’t get me wrong, women are strong and independent and we do not need you to give up your chair for us. It’s the principle of the matter. Its that men still think their place, their comfort and their butt is more important than a woman’s.

Why is this? Why is this the way our society now functions? Maybe it’s because of social media and the fact that men no longer have to actively pursue women in order to gain their affection. Maybe it’s because of shows like the Bachelor teaching us that a woman is only worth one-twentieth of a man’s attention. Maybe it's because woman simply don’t care about little acts of chivalry anymore. Maybe it's because we, as a whole, always value our own needs before others.

This is not a rant, this is not a call to action, and this is not a complaint. This is just simply an observation; a running train of thought, trying to examine and figure out what started this change of action -- why men have stopped offering their seat to woman. It’s become so prevalent that the word “manspreading” (men sitting in public transport with their legs wide apart in order to take up more than one seat) has its own Wikipedia page. Men are no longer just refusing to give up one seat for a woman; they feel as though they deserve two.

So what do we do? In all honestly, there really is nothing we can do. A woman giving up her seat for another woman, although a great act of kindness, isn’t going to change the way men are treating us as a whole.

We as women have to demand respect from the men in our lives. We need to ask that they hold open the door for us, ask us about our day, maintain a friendship with more than just Snapchat and especially offer up their seat when there are women left standing.

To the men who already do this -- thank you for your respect. For the men who don’t -- start the change. Maybe one little insignificant action like this can change the way we interact with each other.

Cover Image Credit: New York Times

Popular Right Now

3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

44353
views

I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

No, Really, He's Just NOT That Into You, Here Are 6 Ways To Know

Stop trying to convince yourself otherwise.

79
views

Ladies, let's be honest with ourselves, we're smart. We know when something's not right or when someone's not feeling us. That gut feeling isn't worry or being anxious — it's an instinct. Use it.

Often when we get that gut feeling, we go to our friends for advice. "He's left me on delivered for three hours but he was active 20 minutes ago," "He said he couldn't hang out tonight because he's busy, even though he said he was free earlier today," "He only asks me to hang out late at night, but he just has a lot going on during the day," and so on.

We sound crazy trying to analyze someone's thoughts and intentions.

Bless our friends' souls, they'll come up with reasons that make SO much sense, and we'll be like "Omg okay you're totally right I just need to chill."

The truth is, although they have the best intentions, our friends aren't doing us any favors by trying to think of plausible excuses. Most of the time our gut feelings are right and instead of trying to settle them we should accept them and move on from there.

If he doesn't do the following things, then he's just not that into you.

1. If he doesn't call or text you first

I'm not saying he always has to be the first one, but it should go both ways. If you realize that the two of you only talk when you initiate it first, he's just not that into you.

2. If you're not a priority 

Hey, quick reminder! If he wants to talk to or be with you, he will.

He will let you know when he can't talk for a while, he will have good energy when you do talk, and he will talk to you whenever he can. You should be with a guy who LOVES talking to you, and I'm not saying you have to talk all day 24/7. If he's constantly talking to other people and leaving you on delivered for hours, you're not a priority.

If he wants to see you, he will see you. People make time for who they want to make time for. Yes, the guy you're seeing does have a life outside of you, but there is a big difference between making time and just fitting you into his time. The right guy will make the effort.

If you find yourself feeling like a convenience and not a priority, he's just not that into you.

3. If he's only asking you to hangout at night

...you're a booty call. If you only hang out at either of your houses, it's just a hookup. Sorry, but it's not that hard to go get coffee or lunch during the day. It's not like he has to pay for everything or take you to a fancy restaurant. If a guy likes you he will want to make actual plans with you. If he doesn't spend time with you during the day, he's just not that into you.

4. If he's actively talking to another girl

"Just Friends" is a tough one because most girls know how both sides of a 'just friends' relationship work. I like having friends that are guys because you can drive around listening to music talking about whatever without listening to a 10-minute rant about how Chad is sending mixed signals. I love my friends that are girls, they're absolutely amazing, but sometimes it's nice to switch things up. My guy friends are friends for a reason and I appreciate them for always being there for me, but I would never get in the way of them having a relationship with a girl.

On the flip side, even if you completely trust your guy, it's hard to trust other girls because you never know their true intentions. The way I see it is that if the two of them have never dated or hooked up, and they were friends before you started dating, then I trust the girl-friend. Don't be fooled though by the, "Oh don't worry about her, she's just a friend," if he's blatantly flirting with her.

Of course, make sure to communicate any of your doubts about the friendship to him before jumping to any conclusions.

If he's actively flirting with another girl, he's just not that into you.

5. If he's not honest with you 

If you catch him being shady or making excuses for his actions or lack thereof, he's just not that into you.

6. If he isn't putting in the time or effort

You deserve more than second thoughts and maybes. You deserve more than late night "wyd" or "you up" Snapchats. You deserve more than feeling the need to check the Snapchat map or beg your friends for excuses as to why he's not talking to you. If you have to second guess his intentions and overanalyze his words and actions, he's just not that into you.

Bottom line: put your feelings aside and ask yourself, "If I was being treated like this by a guy I didn't like, would I still be talking to him?" If the answer is no, then move along. Stop making excuses for things that you know are red flags. If your gut feeling tells you that he's just not into you, then honey, he's just not that into you.

Related Content

Facebook Comments