The Other Girl: the girl who a guy cheats on his girlfriend with. She’s a sl*t. She’s a home-wrecker. She’s promiscuous and doesn’t care about anyone but herself. These are all labels that society sticks on The Other Girl. Sure, there’s some truth to every stereotype, but The Other Girl isn’t always the one at fault. Take it from the girl that’s found herself in the position of being The Other Girl one and a half times (don’t you worry; I’ll explain the half).
The “whole” incident: the one where a guy actually cheated on his girlfriend- I did not expect. We were (and still are) close friends and we spent several hours together, just talking and getting to know each other even more than we already had. It was in the middle of the night and I thought nothing of it; I thought we were just hanging out like we always had. But then, out of nowhere, he just grabbed me and kissed me. Initially, I allowed it to happen for a very brief moment, but then I realized what was happening and thought of the girl that was going to be hurt by this. I didn’t initiate anything; I didn’t ask for anything to happen. Following the kiss, we sat there in silence, not looking at each other. We simply stared across the room and then awkwardly discussed how wrong the situation was and all I could do was tell myself that it wasn’t my fault.
The half comes from the time that I fell in between the “break” that a couple was on. The girl and I had a mutual friend, so we found ourselves starting to hang out. But throughout high school, I had my prospects set on her ex-boyfriend. It’s not like I wanted to steal him from her, I just wanted to be friends with him. He was always nice to me and acknowledged me when others didn’t, plus it has always been normal for me to have guy friends. Over the summer I unexpectedly hung out with him and in private he told me that I was beautiful. He told me that he had always been interested in me and he knew things about me that I didn’t know anyone paid attention to. He was the popular boy that paid attention to the girl that tried to stay unnoticed. He sucked me right in and I forgot all about the girl that I had recently become friends with. He told me that she was crazy and that he wanted nothing to do with her, so I blindly succumbed. After going on a date and him texting me non-stop, they got back together and she was rightfully pissed off.
When you’re The Other Girl, you are consumed with guilt and regret. The words he speaks get to you and numb all sense of what’s right and wrong, and you don’t realize it until it’s too late and you have made a bad choice. Or, on the other hand, you didn’t make the choice at all. Maybe he came on to you and unexpectedly kissed you. Either way, you didn’t do anything to intentionally hurt anyone and the guilt has probably consumed your conscience. You’re terrified that people will find out and give you the labels of being a slut or a whore. If you’re like me, you didn’t eat for nearly two days following either type of situation and you secluded yourself to your room over the weekend while you tried to figure out what you were going to do about the incident. You may have even had a few debilitating panic attacks. You feel dumb for letting a guy block the thoughts that should have been running through your mind that should have prevented you from allowing such things to happen. But, after bad decisions made on part by either the guy or The Other Girl, things happen. And once things happen, there’s no changing them and all parties need to accept it.
If you’re the girl that’s been cheated on: have an issue with your ex or current boyfriend, not the girl involved. Or at least know the whole story before you make any assumptions, because of course it can be The Other Girl's fault. Maybe that was the case and I’m not saying that cheating is in any way okay, but your boy still made the choice. Don’t assume that she was set out to destroy your relationship or that she was being a whore. Think of the things he could have said to The Other Girl or the fact that she may not have wanted anything to happen to begin with. Think of the fact that he has free will and he can do whatever he wants. Speaking for all of The Other Girls out there: we more often than not find ourselves to be sincerely sorry and regretful. Maybe, in the end, everyone will have learned a lesson or after the blame game and all of the hurt and regret, maybe we can go as far to say that it all happened for a reason.
