I am a planner. I like to have the details of my life, even the tiny ones, mapped out in front of me. I like to think of the future and how the things I do now will affect the dreams and goals I have. It’s kind of obsessive, I will admit.
Disappointed, sad, frustrated, hopeless: these are some of the words that describe how I feel when the plans I so carefully formulate in my head don’t come to fruition. Whether it is a plan I made to have lunch with friends or a plan to travel to a foreign country when my plans don’t work out the way I expect them to I respond with an extremely bad attitude.
I understand that my tendency to constantly plan for the future keeps me from being actively involved in the present. I realize, too, that being so set in my plans and in my ways keeps me from being open to what God has for me; however, I am coming to learn that the plans the Lord has for me are so much greater than any I could make for myself. In the past year, though, I have learned this the hard way.
This year, I made some pretty big plans; I wanted to travel, to study abroad. It was a noble goal. I thought that my future success was dependent this factor. I began to dream of how it would impact what I did in the rest of my time in school and in my career.
In the midst of this, I became immersed in the community around me. I made connections and relationships that became extremely important to me. I was told by people I looked up to that I should consider applying for leadership positions within my school. I took the compliments and enjoyed my time with the people around me, but I knew that the next year I would leave this all behind in pursuit of a loftier goal.
You can probably guess what happened next: my plans did not work out the way I anticipated they would. I was stuck in an internal struggle of whether to stay or to go, and ultimately staying was the option that won out.
I felt as though I had failed. My plans that I had so carefully laid out depended on me studying abroad. However, it soon became apparent that God had other plans for me that were dependent on me staying where I was.
I applied for an ASB position that had opened up as a sort of strange coincidence. It was a position that, had I not thought I was leaving the country, I would have strongly considered applying for. I thought my chance to be a leader that year was lost, but I went through with the application and interview anyway. Within days, I was notified that I had gotten the position.
I can only speculate as to whether this was God’s original plan for me or not, but I know with certainty that God was working in this situation and working in me.
When your plans don’t work out the way you expect them to, have hope; God has a plan that supersedes them all. He is working everything out for our good, even the things that seem only bleak and disappointing at the time. He sees what is to come, and knows what is best for us. His plan for us is better than any we could imagine for ourselves.
“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” - Proverbs 16:9
I still like to plan ahead. It is a habit I cannot seem to shake. Yet, I know in the midst of my planning and dreaming that my future is open for God to shape in the way He sees fit. Whether or not my plans will work out is not what matters; what matters is I am open to God’s plans for me.
