We’ve all been there. We live at home for 18 years having our parents there to cook us dinner every night and take us to school the next morning. They cart us around to practices and after school activities, yell at us when our room is too messy, and make us do the dishes. Now, when we’re 16 and our mom “nags” us to do these things, we think we know everything and don’t need her to tell us what to do. So, we dream and count down for the day we get to move out. Freedom.
Then, we move out and the wake-up call happens. We’re put in charge of our own schedules and we have to make sure we do our dishes and clean our rooms without having anyone there to tell us to. We could live in our filth if we really wanted to (and sometimes this does happen). But for 4 years, we get to do what we want, when we want and we don’t have to answer to anyone.
Sure, we come home for holiday breaks and summer vacations, but those are usually filled with hectic work schedules and catching up with friends, and of course knowing that eventually we’ll get our freedom back.
“I just have to live here for 3 months, then I can get back to my life.”
College really forces us to grow up. We’re balancing student clubs, papers, exams and group projects. Students don’t get enough credit for making sure everything happens and gets done in time.
College is over. Graduation happened. Tears were shed. Now it’s time to move back home to save money for those loans that are going to start quickly coming in. But no one tells us what happens when we move back home after those four years of freedom.
You'll think, "sure, I've lived here before, it won't be that bad." But this time it's different because you're not a teenager anymore. This time you're an adult and want to have your own life that doesn't include your parents knowing every detail.
Here are 5 things that happen when you return to the nest:
1. You’re forced into telling your parents what you’re doing and where you are at all times.
So, you stopped to get gas after work and got home 10 minutes later usual. Be prepared for a list of questions. Where were you? What took you so long? Why didn’t you tell me? Get used to texting them to check in all the time.
2. Morning routines are stressful.
Congratulations, you got a job right after graduation! But your parents have been getting up and showering at the same time every day for the past 30+ years. Now, there’s one more body stirring around the house at 5:00 a.m. This is an adjustment for them, and they won’t like to change it. So, you’re required to work around them.
3. There’s no such thing as time to yourself.
Parents love to have their kids come back home to them. They’ve missed you, and want to catch up on lost time. However, they don’t understand that sometimes you want to just lock yourself in your room and watch Netflix all day and not speak to anyone. Don’t go out bar hopping all night on a Saturday and expect to heal your hangover in peace.
4. Your house is no longer the place to hang out.
Long gone are the days where you can invite friends over at midnight and have them stay until 3 a.m. No more late night pizza deliveries because you might disturb the rents’ sleep. And don’t even think about inviting your boyfriend/girlfriend over on date three. That would instantly turn into a “meet-the-parents” date that you both are obviously not ready for yet. You’ll get creative in coming up with ideas of places to go because you’re an adult now. The last thing you want to do is bring people to your parents’ house.
5. Everything goes back to the way it was before.
Freedom comes with a cost. You can’t wait to get out of the house, but remember that you’ll most likely return home at some point in your life in everything goes back to how it was when you were 16. Then, you start a new dream of moving into your own home and start your own family.
Moving home is always a difficult transition, but remember that it’s truly a blessing to be able to live at home again. This isn’t only an adjustment for you, but it’s an adjustment for your parents as well. They’ve gotten used to you not being around, and now you’re invading their space again. Go easy on them. Reconnecting and spending time with family is something you’ll never take for granted. Besides, not having to buy groceries and pay rent are just an added bonus. So, be patient. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and soon you’ll be free again.
