Giving birth to a child does not make someone a mom. That makes them a mother. This took me many years to grasp.

I grew up calling the woman who gave birth to me, mom. All I knew was that she was the one who gave me life. She was the one to teach me all the life lessons she had to offer, or at least so I thought.

Unforeseen circumstances led to that feeling, of having a mom watching over me, being taken away. I blamed myself, I blamed the people around me, I even blamed God. It took a few years of my life to realize that it was not my fault or God's fault. It was my "mom's" fault. She did not do what she needed to do to be a mom.

I don't want anyone to think that I am talking bad about the woman who gave birth to me. That is not what this is about. This is about how a mom does not have to be the woman who gave birth to you. This is where I tell you about the most amazing woman in my life, my mom.

I see many guys in the world act how they do because they never had a father figure. I always thought that I would turn out the complete opposite of how I am because I didn't have a mother figure. I didn't have a positive female role model in my life. Then my dad started to date the most spectacular woman and it took me a while to be able to realize that she was going to be my mom.

This woman that I call mom is not the woman who gave birth to me. She is my stepmom but she is so much more than that. She is my worst critic and my biggest fan. She won't hide the truth but she will be there when I need to cry. She will be the first to say "DeAnn you are screwing up" but she will also say " DeAnn you are doing a great job."

I don't give my stepmom enough credit. She and my dad have done such a good job raising me and my brother. I owe a lot of who I am to her. I am strong, independent, hard-working, loving. I encourage others, I love God, I push myself way too hard sometimes. This is all in hopes that I will be just like her someday. She doesn't realize how much I do look up to her. I see her pushing through whatever pain she experiences. I see her looking at my dad like it's love for the first time. I see her being the best absolute mom to two kids that aren't even her own. She needs to know how much it all means to me.

My biological mom made a lot of mistakes in her life, and for a long time, I thought I was one of them. I thought why did she have kids if she would treat them like this, or why did she have kids if she couldn't love them like a mom should. I went through such a hard time transitioning from a child into a teenager. With all the stuff that happened in my childhood, I had to grow up fast. My brother needed someone to look after him. Nobody was going to do that except for me.

When my biological mom passed away this summer, my stepmom was the one to call and tell me something was wrong and I needed to come home. She was the one that was waiting at the door to tell me what happened, She was the one who let me cry my eyes out. She didn't even get upset that I was crying over the woman who caused so much anguish in my life. She just held me and said it will all be okay.

I will never ever ever ever be able to say thank you enough to the woman who has raised me because she wanted to and not because she had to. This is just a little bit of the love and gratitude I have for someone who has had such an impact on my life.

She is a Proverbs 31 woman!