When Your Girlfriend Says, "When" Not "If"

I picked my girlfriend up with her legs in one hand and her upper body in the other last week. She'd asked me to randomly, so I attempted it not expecting to be able to actually do it. Surprisingly, I did pick her up with no issue.

Now, I know this seems like a senseless story, but it's not. Because later that day, while we were playing pool, she randomly said, "When we get married, are you going to carry me across the threshold?"

I didn't answer with a yes or no.

Instead I said, "Did you just say WHEN not IF?"

She obviously got annoyed because I didn't answer the question right away and I picked up on her "when" not "if." Some people may not read into this slight difference in diction, but I did.

When is so much more meaningful than if. If someone uses "when" then that means they are PLANNING or COUNTING ON something happening. In this instance, it was my girlfriend implying she was PLANNING on us getting married some day. She was PLANNING on having me carry her across the threshold. She was PLANNING a future with me.

My heart melted when she said, "when" not "if" because that meant she wanted me in her future. To me, that means a lot. She is so important to me and if I know she wants a future with me, then I can feel reassured that she's in for the long run and she loves me.

That's not to say that's abnormal in a relationship or anything like that. You should plan to be with someone in the future if you're dating them. Being with them in the future should be the ultimate goal to accomplish. I want to marry my girlfriend. I would love to have that opportunity because she helps me become a better version of myself and she makes me extremely happy.

My girlfriend, although less upfront about it, also sees a future with me. I know this because she's continuously trying to make sure I am okay and that I am happy. She loves me a lot and doesn't take me for granted. She appreciates me and she knows she is lucky to have me in her life. Even through the ups and downs we've faced, she is still right here next to me trying to make us work.

She's even moved onto threatening to hang up with me instead of break up with me when I get annoying. So I guess maybe she does love me a little. It was always in a joking manner, don't get me wrong.

She's started opening up to me about her emotions and thoughts, more and more each day. She's put trust in me that I know is difficult for her to do. She's learned how to be in not only a long-term relationship but a same-sex relationship. She's risked a lot to be with me, which I appreciate her loving me enough to do so.

She feels right. I'm not talking this fairy tale shit that they teach you in the movies. I'm not saying we are always perfect and don't get on each other's nerves. We get into little arguments but our love never falters. When I say she's right, I mean she is what I want. She is my soulmate. She is meant to be in my life, I have no doubt in my mind. I love her with every fiber of my being and I will continuously fight to keep her in my life. I want to marry the most amazing woman in the world--my girlfriend.

So when she says "when" not "if," I can't help but smile. It reminds me that what we have is very real. It reminds me we may actually have a future together. It reminds me that one day I may be lucky enough to call her my wife.