I found myself surrounded by crumpled paper last night. I was sitting in bed staring at a blank page. I wanted to write, but couldn't quite find the words.
I checked Facebook every few minutes.
I kept refreshing my Instagram feed.
I frantically checked my cell phone, hoping to receive a text or call that never came.
As the evening came to an end and the sun went down, I felt my heart shatter a little. I felt another person leave me that I trusted.
As the tears ran down my face, I saw another chapter in my life draw to an abrupt close. You see, friends, I have this terrible trait of holding on to people who don't want to be held on to.
I have a terrible tendency to care more about friends than they care about me.
To be quite honest, as much as I'd like to pretend otherwise, I'm not sure if watching people walk away ever gets easier.
Each time, it cuts like a knife. Each time, you never quite fully grasp what has happened.
It is a mystery to me as to how people can walk away without so much as a backward glance. I wish I possessed that ability.
In the midst of the blank pages and the tears that come to me easier than ever before, God has been dealing with me on holding onto things that aren't in His plan for us. Relationships can hold us back.
Not everyone we want is for us. We can plead and beg and scratch, but not everyone deserves a place in our lives. Not everyone fits God's plan for your life.
Sometimes God will make us cut ties by making staying in contact unbearably uncomfortable, or even impossible.
Sometimes God shuts the door for us when we refuse to walk out of a situation ourselves.
I won't pretend to understand why some people are only in our lives for a brief season. I won't pretend that it doesn't hurt to become close to someone, just to watch them walk out of your life.
I do know this: God has a plan. He will never let anything slip away from us without replacing it with something better.
He knows what we need. He sees the desires of our heart. He is able to see the future while can't.
I urge you to be vigilant. I urge you to listen when God tells you to walk away. I urge you to trust God in all things.
I'll say it again – let us guard our hearts, sweet friends. Guard your hearts.