Boom! You've graduated! You can't wait to get out into the world and start adulting all over the place. You've got big plans now that you can attach "college graduate" on that resume of yours!
You've gone through 4 long tedious years of crying, whimpering, groaning, yelling, cussing and growing gray hairs prematurely. All for a piece of paper. BUT WAIT! There's more! That piece of paper isn't yours until you've paid back $30,000, a lifetime worth of tears, your first and second born children and Sally Mae's (or what other demon lender you've signed your soul to's) interest. Another perk is that you're eligible for a .25% discount on said loans if you enroll in auto-pay! What a deal!
Okay, let's get real. Basically, it's a rent-a-degree. Now that's out of the way: here's where the feels come. As you are looking for jobs, these are 10 feelings you've had.
I can do this! Look at all these jobs!
Process Engineer- pfft! Can't be that hard.
Only you've studied Marketing. Its basically the same thing.
I am Beyonce
Palliative Care Person? I will do it. I will slay like she did that halftime show.
They'd be stupid not to hire me.
Really...I'm awesome. On the inside.
Oh. my. gosh. What if they don't hire me?
No money. No food. My neck is falling off!
Just don't make me check my bank account.
2 years?! But I just graduated!
Does babysitting translate into management experience? I practically managed that child ALL night. It also shows leadership skills!
Getting that child to bed is hard work. Ooh! This can work for palliative care too!
No call back
My life is over!
I'll be over here under the covers with my unicorn. Do not disturb as I will be pondering the nothingness that is my life.
Deadpool has baby fingers? DEADPOOL. HAS. BABY FINGERS!
I don't need a job. I could watch this all day long. Forever...and ever....
Would my potential employer be impressed with how many times I've paid to watch Deadpool? That shows dedication. I paid for it in IMAX too!
Someone out there, besides my significant other, needs someone with my skill set!
NEED. ME. So....hire me? K, thanks.
Just. Hire. Me.
Scraping cow dung?
Scraping up some big ol' cow poop never looked good. Seriously, it's never really looked good.
10. First Paycheck
Paid to get a piece of paper that will qualify me with 4 years of knowledge to make even more little pieces of paper to replace the paper that went into obtaining the first piece of paper. It's a lot of paper.