The backstory: I am currently in the running for the Daughter of the Year award because I surprised my family by coming home. What I didn’t know was what I would be sacrificing to accept my nomination: I would have to share a bathroom with my brother while the other bathroom was under construction. I realize that I am not alone in this travesty, so I am writing on behalf of all other women who have had to share a bathroom with a brother.
The morning starts with him getting to the bathroom first and taking his sweet time. All you want to do is exfoliate, and all he wants to do is be a pain in your ass. You are hesitant to wipe your face on any towel because you really don’t know if any of them are safe. You consequently end up increasing your laundry load by constantly washing towels. You also feel like everything is covered in pee. Even if it is not (though it probably is), you can’t prove it either way, so that feeling of uncertainty lingers.
During the day it usually isn’t too bad -- what are the chances you both need to use it at the same time? But when it is time for you to leave the house, he decides that is the best time to use it. But, you have to do your makeup… Now that’s a problem. You may be nice and leave the door open, but then he will try to talk to you while your liquid liner is in your hand. He is just never going to understand how critical it is that your eyeliner is not all over your face.
If you are on different daily schedules, then you are usually fine in the showering department, but we all know it is just not that easy. One of you is always going to need to get into the bathroom while the other one is in the shower. I admit, I may be a bit more annoying because I have to do my hair and that takes longer. Sorry brother, but you have to pay the cost of my beauty. At some point you also realize how much hair you get everywhere because when you are home with your brother, you can’t really pin it on your sorority sisters.
Which leads me to another issue: he won’t let you hear the end of it when there are tampons in the trash. You really don’t need the whole world to know you are on your period, but he makes it very clear how gross he finds it, and pretty soon even your dog knows.
The amount of times you call each other foul words increases approximately six-times the average daily foul word count. The consequences of bathroom sharing even reach your parents, because they have to deal with the complaining and the attitude. It’s just an all-around bad time.
You look for the positive side of things... There is none. So, you file the experience away in the back of your mind as something you vow to never put your kids through.
