At one point, you loved her.
You watched her move and suddenly became drawn to the rhythm in which she did. Every word she spoke, and corny joke she made, you fell in love with the idea someone could be so perfectly imperfect.
I know as you read each word, you’ll start to envision a girl you were once so helplessly in love with and wonder if it’ll ever go back to being this way. You can take the time you need –– but only that.
If you know you don’t want her, please just listen to me and let her go.
I’ll be the best friend that you'll expect at some point in this letter, and tell you she doesn’t deserve this. You know as well as I do, so for the life of me, I can’t see why you’d put someone you once cared about so much, through that kind of pain. I wanted to think there was more to you than that, but the other part of me always knew.
I call that my realistic part.
It has been enough time for you to realize what you want, and I know the answer is there, you're just too afraid to own it. When you first realized this girl wasn't the one you wanted to spend forever with, instead of leading her on like you've done for months now, you should have had the god damn respect to end it.
How can you not watch her soul break, see her face fall a million times, see her changing into someone unrecognizable, and still put her through this shit?
You won't make her your girlfriend, but you won't let her move on.
Essentially, you don't want her, but can't stand the thought of someone else having her either?
You don't want a piece of the cake, you don't want the whole cake, and no one else can have any of the cake. What?
That's not right.
You text her when it's convenient for you. As if the other 5 days of the week when she's having a mental breakdown from all the shit going on in her life isn't an ideal time. You do it on your own terms, and f*ck her up in the process.
This is how your treatment of her boils down.
Hi, it's just me again. Not stopping in to check on you, but just letting you know I'm still here. That way if you were thinking about moving on, I'm just going to put that to rest because guess what?! You still love me, right? Well, that's good, at least I have you as a backup. Okay, thanks for the chat, I'm going to go back to forgetting you exist until I need something again
You're complete shit, my friend.
If you are unsure of your love for someone, or unsure if you want to be with them at all, why give them the emotional/mental/physical satisfaction of giving yourself to them on a physical level. To both of you, this wasn't just a hookup or little relationship you can shrug off.
This relationship was YEARS of your life, and you of all people should know the feelings that come with sleeping with another human being... especially one you once cared about for so long.
Don't ever go back to thinking sex with her will be the answer if right after you continue shutting her out of your life. It hurts more than it helps... I've seen it firsthand.
You want to know what I think? I think you realized a long time ago that you'd never love her like you once did.
Instead of being a man about it, you took the cowardly way and never actually gave her closure. You let her make her own assumptions, pick herself apart wondering what the hell could've been wrong with her that someone she was with for so long could suddenly not want her.
That's what I think.
Let me wait for you to tell me what you think?
I won't hold my breath for the answer.
And my dream?
Is that she won't either.
