Dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, reptiles, fish, the animals that we sometimes call, our pets. Pets have a special place in our families, and in our hearts as well. We talk to them, we play with them, and we give them all of our love.

This is especially true with childhood pets. They watch us grow up, transition from grade school to high school, see us form relationships, see our breakups, and give us all of their love throughout it all. That is why when we lose them, it can feel like one of the most heartbreaking things in the world.

One of my friends recently had to put down his dog and it made me start thinking about the two dogs I have lost in the past, and even thinking about it now makes me want to shed tears thinking about my two boys.

I am lucky to say that was once the owner of three dogs, one that I got when I was only seven years old, and two when I was a freshman in college. Clancy, a gray and white Shih Tzu, was my childhood pet. I still remember seeing him for the first time in the pet store and just knowing right then and there that he was the dog I wanted as my pet. He was the right size for me to carry and he had a lot of energy, so he always loved to play. He watched me go from grade school to high school and then high school to college.The day I left home for college I remember picking him up and just hugging him for several minutes; and for the first few months whenever I’d call home my dad would put him on the phone and even then just listening to him breathing made me happy. Clancy saw me at my best and even at my worst, and I know through it all that we loved each other. This only made it that more difficult to accept the fact that he was gone when he died after my sophomore year of college. I knew it was for the best, he had been sick for the last few years, but I didn’t want him to go, but I had to remember that it was going to be okay, he was no longer suffering.

Then there was Madison, a male black Labrador Retriever, and Marley, a female chocolate English Labrador Retriever. Both of them became a big part of my life my freshman year of college when my uncle gave them to us to take care as he could no longer keep them in the city. Madison and was an older dog, but he was big, friendly, playful, and he loved to give kisses. He always made me feel happy and when I was down it was almost like he knew and he would always be there to comfort me. Madison also loved to swim. When my family got an in-ground pool he took every chance he got to just walk right in and start swimming around the shallow end, even when none of us were in the pool ourselves. Madison made me very happy and I knew that we adored each other. He had more personality than most humans that I knew, and he was a great companion.

When I came home for spring break my senior year though, Madison started getting sick as well. First his legs gave out and he could not get up and go outside without someone supporting his back legs, and then he started losing control of his bodily functions. It was so upsetting to see and even though he did our best to help him I could tell that he felt embarrassed by it. When things didn’t get any better for him we talked with my uncle and agreed that it was best that we put Madison to sleep. Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when you know you have to, I remember spending 30 minutes crying, hugging him, and saying my goodbye. Just like Clancy though, I knew that it had to be done because he was suffering and I could not bear seeing him suffer.When it was done though, seeing Marley upset about losing her companion and cry just broke my heart, and while I'm lucky to still have her. I know it is not the same.

When I lost my two dogs, I grieved like someone would grieve when another human being dies. That is exactly how it felt though. I lost not only best friends, but members of my family as well. While I know that the pain of losing a pet will never truly go away, and that no one will ever replace my pets, I know that losing a pet is a part of life. We are never ready to say goodbye to our dogs, our cats, etc. but they will always live on in our memories, and one day will meet them again. So no matter, how sad it is, and how much it hurts, remember, that it’s not goodbye forever.