Some mornings you just wake up and think "I need to write," well today was one of those days. Last Sunday, our sermon was about how we all want to hand situations to God but how we struggle with letting them go. We kind of give God the wheel to our life "car" while we struggle to let off of the accelerator. How many times do we really catch ourselves doing this? It's like we are waiting and waiting on that "change" we have been praying for, yet never seeing it. Maybe we are just too stubborn sometimes to sit back and let Him do his work.

I decided to slow my "car" down a few weeks ago, before this sermon ever took place. I had been praying for change, for someone to come along that was a partner and would be able to help me with life. I needed someone to help me laugh, restore my faith in relationships and help me be a better person. I needed trust and a solid foundation because I knew I was ready for someone to enjoy adventures with. I think the hardest part of life is expecting a change but sometimes not being ready for it to take place. However, when you are ready, your foot will casually slide off the accelerator and you can sit back and watch your world develop into something entirely different.

Granted, I know how to be happy alone because if I have learned anything it is that you are the creator and destroyer of your own happiness. You choose what will bring you down and what will build you up. That does not change the fact that when people hurt you, it really can pull you down. I knew that I needed to quit depending on others for my own happiness and when I finally realized that I started living my life.

Then... you found me. In the middle of enjoying the ride of life, you jumped in my car and we started our journey together. Thank The Lord you and I found one another because I needed you and did not even know it.

I needed someone to smile and laugh with. I had forgotten what butterflies felt like. Heck, I had forgotten that achy feeling you get in your cheeks after laughing for too long.

I needed someone that I could trust with my entire heart which is still scary at times because I believe all women have a little (okay, maybe a lot) of anxiety from past relationships.

I needed you to look at myself differently because I know I have not seen the person I truly am in years.

I needed you to restore my faith in humanity because I had lost hope that there was actually a decent human being out there that would care about me.

I needed someone that wanted me, that did not push me away, did not lie to me. I needed someone that genuinely cared and I found that in you.

I needed someone to care for me a little bit more than I cared for myself because I have struggled with self-love lately. You do that, you get me, you genuinely care and for that, I am grateful.

Sometimes you find things you need that you never knew you were missing. I am thankful we found one another because I am enjoying life through a different lens. So as I adjust, please be patient with me but know I am beyond thankful for you. I am thankful for your kind words, warm smile, open arms and grace you have bestowed upon my life. I am thankful God placed you here because even when we do not know what we need, He does. Let Him take the wheel, pull your foot away from the accelerator and enjoy the ride.