Dear people with roommates,
"Help! Don't know what to do. I don't know what to do anymore. I know this is her room, too, but I'm so tired of walking in on her. "
My friend, Ashley, is in college. She shares a dorm with a fellow student named Debra. She told me that everything was cool between them. The only issue she really has with Debra is boys. Debra loves to sneak them in at night without telling Ashley. She did it the night before classes began and Ashley knew from then how this was going to go down. She knows that Debra is not squeaky clean, but she just wants Debra to do her dirty work somewhere else. Ashley thought she was being a good friend by encouraging Debra to have sex while she went to work.
Debra has been being more reckless. About two weeks ago, Ashley was coming home from work and caught Debra and her boyfriend in an uncompromising position. What she described to me exactly was that she saw Debra's boyfriend in between her legs, both of them had no pants on. Before she even thinks to ask, Debra tells a fib and says " We were not having sex." Ashley knows what sex looks like. When she entered the room Debra yelled "F*ck" and they covered themselves up. Now, that doesn't sound like studying. Later on in the week, Debra confessed to having sex, but denied that they were in the act at that time she walked in.
Recently speaking, Ashley stayed up all night to complete part of a project. Debra is her partner in the project. Since she finished early the next day, she decides to catch up on some sleep while Debra does her part. Debra informs Ashley that her boyfriend is coming over to hang out. She doesn't think anything of it as she falls asleep. Debra creeps in with her boyfriend and Ashley wakes up. She can't sleep because Debra turned the light on to do her project, plus they are conversing. She decides to go to the bathroom. When Ashley comes back to the room she sees Debra's boyfriend's head in between her legs. When they see Ashley, they cover themselves up. She is furious. She doesn't want to call Title IX on her roommate, but she's tired of walking on Debra's promiscuous affairs.
Ashley has talked to Debra multiple times about this, but it looks like she is caring less and less about Ashley's feelings. She can't even go to the bathroom without potentially waking in on her. Ashley tried to regulate the occurrences by giving them the greenlight to get down when Ashley at work, but Debra obviously doesn't care. Her overly sexual business is interfering with Ashley getting sleep and Ashley has had enough. She asked me what I think she should do. I had no idea, so I figured I would ask the world.
Ashley is thinking about moving out of that dorm, calling security the next time it happens or filing a report with Title IX. She talked to Debra, gave her the space to get down while she is at work but it keeps happening. Ashley is scared that they will eventually escalate to fornicating while she is asleep. Her behavior is becoming worse and more reckless, so she feels like eventually, she will have no choice but to take drastic measures.
