Here is what you don’t get. America is not a place of equals, at least not yet.
Whether you think of gender equality, racial equality, or LGBT+ equality, it is more than likely that you know someone who is either gay, female, or non-Caucasian. Unless you are Donald Trump, chances are you immediately thought of someone whose been a victim of inequality in some way shape or form. It felt like 2015 was a non-stop stream of issues tied to racial inequality, if you think of the just the high profile media coverage on individuals like Sandra Bland, among others. Those who don’t fall under the “Caucasian” label, felt more than ever in 2015 that racial equality was non-existent. 2016 has taken a quick turn, not forgetting the issue of racial inequality but now with a huge focus on LGBT equality as well.
There is a misconception that simply because marriage equality was passed in the United States of America, that suddenly LGBT Americans were equal to their heterosexual counterparts. Unfortunately, this couldn't be further from the truth. As a whole, the LGBT community has a spotlight on it. We frequently hear about young teenagers in the media who struggled with their sexuality-and opting to end their struggles by ending their life. We frequently hear about people coming out, and how they wish they had done it sooner. We often hear those outside of the LGBT community, namely heterosexuals, complaining about why they too don’t have an entire month dedicated to Pride events (for which the P is capitalized). On what is evidently National Heterosexual Pride Day, social media blew up from people both posting in favor and against this national holiday. Simply put, the use of it as #HeterosexualPrideDay is offensive to the past, present, and future of the LGBT community and the progress we’ve made within American culture specifically.
A constant question asked was why those who identify as heterosexual cannot have a Pride day. The answer is pretty obvious from my perspective, as they have not ever had to fight for their right to do anything. These heterosexual men and women are privileged and have been privileged since they were born, and acted on the assumption they were heterosexual. They never have to face a reversed closet, coming as heterosexual and in a relationship or attracted to opposite genders than their own. In a world where people preach how safe it is for LGBT+ men and women, we live in a world where Omar Mateen can walk into a gay nightclub, and senselessly murder 49 individuals and injuring countless others. In Harry Potter, we come across the line that if you have nothing to fear, you have nothing to hide. At one point or another, at various levels of severity, an individual identifying as LGBT+ felt like they had something to fear because they were told by America that who they were was a sin, and to hide it. Those identifying as heterosexual, have never had to fear for their sexuality and their live. They have never had to call their partner a “roommate” or a “friend” to loved ones, diminishing the value of a loving relationship. They have never been blamed for an epidemic of AIDS, and branded as sex driven shallow men/women. They have never had to resist the urge to hold the hand of a loved one in public. Pride events were started as a form of protest against those who were anti-LGBT; and continues in that same role today. While it is definitely a positive celebration, its tone is similar to that of honoring fallen soldiers who fought for our country in wars. It’s a day we have, but it is a day we do not wish to have if we had the choice.
As men and women of privileged hetero-sexism, you will never have the courage an LGBT man/woman develops throughout their life when it comes to realizing who they are. It involves discovering their sexuality at a young age, and struggling to process it and what it means for you. It then means having to worry about your livelihood-will our family and peers reject or accept us for who we are? If they do, you begin to eventually come out to them and own your sexuality. If you fear for a second that they don’t, you think of what could happen. I was a boy who feared he would have 2 minutes to pack a bag and escape from his parents’ house if they did not love me for this, and I’m from Massachusetts, the first state to legalize gay marriage. Somewhere in the Bible Belt, there is a kid with far more legitimate concerns than mine. From the Pacific to the Atlantic Oceans, there is a community of people who bond over these experiences and the routes in which their lives took. We are doctors, we are lawyers, we are teachers, we are businessmen & business women, we are men and women of faith, we are actors, singers, athletes. We are people, who come from a culture who for far too long were content with just surviving among their peers. In today’s day and age, we want more than this. We want to fight against the remaining hatred that exists, and be more than just accepted or tolerated. We want to be equal. To be people.
In a way, the shootings of Pulse nightclub have more than just the obvious ripple effects. The deaths of souls just beginning to find their way in life is tragic, and so is the ever deepening ocean. Men and women are now afraid to be themselves in public-in fear of holding their partners hand, in fear of kissing them in a predominantly heterosexual setting (which is essentially all of them, mind you). The LGBT community is once again facing having to fight for respect, for acceptance, and equality again in a culture that we felt was just beginning to give us those things. We have climbed our Mt. Everest, only to fall back down again. We had solved the hunger felt for many years, to have the food stolen from our dinner tables. Anyone outside of this community has those things, it has been given to them and for generalization, never been ripped away from them. It isn’t to say heterosexual men and women do not face challenges, but they do not face scrutiny and pure hatred. They do not face bigotry from a book older than we seem to realize. They do not face rejection from a masculine culture that rejects their interests, their builds, their physical beings as people. While I was afraid as a kid, I’ve never truly been afraid as an adult to comprehend the reality of being openly gay. It is something I have inherently been aware of since I was 13 and facing myself in the bathroom mirror whispering I was gay. But we’re living in a culture of fear again, or at least I worry we will be.
Please remember this, though. You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide.
