In the days prior to going shopping, it seems like a good idea. You’re feeling good about yourself. It won’t be so bad. You’re actually kind of excited. But then the day comes, and you don’t even want to get out of bed because you’re not prepared to destroy your self-confidence. Unfortunately, it’s necessary. You need new pants –those stupid holes along your thighs are too big to ignore – and you should probably just get new clothes in general, considering you only do this twice a year.
If you’re like me, you’ll try to think about anything else in the world as you’re on your way to the mall, whether it be by car, bus, or simply walking. Your feet know where to go as soon as you enter the mall. You know exactly what store you’re going to go to. All that’s keeping you from all those clothes is the family that’s got approximately twelve misbehaving children. It’s like walking through the hallways in high school all over again.
Chances are, you’ve made yourself a mental checklist of what you need to get, and tell yourself not to look for anything else. Now, you’re in the store. Immediately, you see that about 80 percent of what is usually where you find your clothes is all a plethora of winter coats, because they didn’t sell as much during the warm winter season. Thanks climate change. Whatever, you tell yourself, it’s just a minor setback. After all, there’s got to be something. When you find the section you’re looking for, however, it’s all clothes you would never wear. How things like that blouse were considered fashionable, you’ll never know. You move on, now you’re determined. You didn’t make the trip out there just to be deterred by a couple of questionable shirts.
Finally, after what feels like eight years of pushing aside hangers upon hangers of sizes that are either way too small or way too large for you, you find your size. It’s the last one left. It’s fate. You grab a few things and head back to the dressing room.
Here it is, your personal hell. The next few minutes are going to either make or break your shopping experience. You’re either going to walk out of that dressing room like a champ, having found that everything fits – and you even went down a size! – or you’re going to feel like a beached whale. There is no in-between.
On a bad day, every article you keep is considered a victory, even if the other five are going straight back on the shelf. On a good day – which in my experience is a very elusive event – you only have to go in once and everything magically fits you and looks good on you.
After years of self-confidence issues, and relatively poor body positivity, you’ll find that clothes shopping is a nightmare. But when you find that dress that just looks amazing on you, you can’t resist the euphoria that you feel when you head to the checkout line and buy it. If you’re like me, you’ll take about a hundred pictures. Selfies? Check. Mirror pictures? Got it. Wannabe model shots? Absolutely. Some people might call you conceited, but haters gonna hate. You take them selfies. You look great. Revel in every glorious minute of that self-confidence.
Deep down, you know you’re probably going to feel the same way about clothes shopping for a very long time, whether you’re happy with yourself or not. At this point, it simply feels like a chore. It was never fun growing up, and now, you just can’t bring yourself to change your mind about it. But for now, you tell yourself that it wasn’t that bad, and that you did great. It was worth getting out of bed. You're still going to wait six months before stepping foot in that mall again, though.
