Webster’s Dictionary defines enough as “occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations." It is something that we all want. We want enough money so we can be comfortable. We want to be skinny enough, as though it resembles some kind of absolute beauty. We want enough sleep to get us through the next day, then enough time in that day to get tasks accomplished. Most importantly, we all want to BE enough.
We want to feel like we do not just come short of everyone's expectations. We want to have a job where we know all of our efforts get the task done, and even better if our efforts exceed average expectations. We want to find a person who makes us feel like we are everything they want and deserve, even if it is just to hide the fact that you do not think the same about yourself.
We are all so consumed with having enough, whether it is materialistic or un-intangible. We aspire for greatest, for one upping each other and getting to the highest point we can. Even when we get enough of something, we change the game and pull the stakes higher, raising the bar one after another.
Do not get me wrong. I strive for perfection, even though I think perfection is just a word that expresses a state where the least amount of flaws exists, although, they still do exist. I crave that feeling of knowing that I am enough to get into a school, enough for a particular job, and enough for someone to love me. I always try to be enough, sometimes forgetting why I do things, forgetting what really makes me happy in life.
Sometimes we lose ourselves on the quest for being enough; for having enough. In relationships, we leave a person because they are too much this or not enough of that. Sometimes we push people away because we think of ourselves as not being enough for them, that we never will be. We do not apply for jobs because we feel we are not good enough for it. We keep going to the gym because we feel we are not skinny enough or have enough muscle mass. We keep craving money, because no amount is truly high enough.
We use this word as though it has a set number, a set value of meaning, when in reality, it could be an infinite amount of possibilities. When we do this, we do not actually set ourselves goals because we are able to change what is enough for us, always telling ourselves that we are not enough or we do not have enough. Sometimes we miss out on opportunities and not because someone else is standing in our way, but because you are telling yourself you are simply not good enough.
We forget that we do not have to reach this new level that we set, that we are in control of our own expectations of ourselves. When we tell ourselves we are not good enough for a person, we make it impossible to be with that person, to be happy with that person. When we tell ourselves we are not skinny enough, we lose the confidence and love we could of had for our bodies. When we strive for our dreams, we tell ourselves we cannot do them because we feel we lack certain qualifications or requirements.
Being enough is a figment of our imagination. It is something we make up for ourselves that sometimes talks us out of our hopes and dreams. When used in a positive manner, it can help us steer towards greatness, but go too far and we lose grasp of our happiness in the process. It is something that is forever changing, something that we can change ourselves instead of putting ourselves down. Enough is a funny word because as humans, we are never enough, or things are simply never enough for us.
Sometimes I wonder when "enough” will truly be enough.
