When should I compromise?
Start writing a post

When Should You Compromise

Whether we're talking the boardroom or the bedroom — how should we make healthy compromises while staying true to your core values?

When Should You Compromise

Any relationship requires some degree of compromise. Whether it's your other half, your boss, your colleagues or your friends, we can't agree on everything. Compromise can be a very tricky thing to achieve. What's touted as a meet-in-the-middle, a win-win solution can sometimes feel like a lose-lose scenario for both parties involved.

Compromise is sometimes the only way to move forward and make progress. But at other times, you may feel that by compromising you are being too much of a pushover. Compromising at every turn isn't good for your relationships in the long run. You need to be able to assert your needs and requirements as well as working to meet those of others. You're an equal player in any relationship and should be able to retain your integrity and sense of self, even when working to overcome conflicts of interest or disagreements.

When conflicts involve longer-term issues, tensions, or unsatisfying patterns of behavior, people are more resistant to making compromises or carrying out the compromised agreement. For example, if we are trying to find a time to meet for our cup of coffee but in the past, I have either canceled several times or shown up late regularly, you will be more hesitant to make an agreement with me. We have a history of tension and unresolved conflict making you now appear resistant and unreasonable until the pattern gets addressed. If this long-term issue does not get addressed and we are pressured into compromise anyway, I would probably continue the same pattern and you would continue to be frustrated with things not going according to plan.

Healthy compromise, where both the people in the equation are prepared to both give and take, is a good way to resolve a conflict. Healthy compromises benefit both parties, enhancing each other's authenticity and bringing the people involved closer. Unhealthy compromise, where one person is repeatedly giving in to the other, is likely to create long-term problems. It will eventually lead to bitterness and resentment between the parties involved.

We can't always get everything we want, of course. We can't always be in total control. But we can certainly get a lot of what we want if we prioritize what's most important to us. Just because we can't always be in control doesn't mean that we're never in control. Compromise is how we deal with the fact that we don't know everything. It's also the way that we deal with having to live with other people. While compromise may mean giving something up, you can make healthy compromises without neglecting your core values and needs. And by communicating clearly and empathetically considering another person's perspective, you'll find that by giving something up, compromising gives you something essential in return: stronger, healthier relationships.

This truth presents a natural question: when should we compromise, and when should we hold our ground and keep fighting for what we really want? When you encounter a situation in which you need to choose between compromise and holding firm, it might help to think about a different question: "Do you need it, or do you just want it?".

Being able to separate needs and wants is essential. Never let go of something you truly need but be more flexible on the things that you want. If you're choosing your battles, don't miss the forest for the trees. Don't give up a third of your life by working a dead-end job that you hate. Don't abandon your dreams, especially if they've stayed with you for a long time and you can't stop thinking about them. If you need something, fight for it. For everything else, let go a little. Make trade-offs, compromise, let go. Settle on the unessential to get what you really want.

Compromise isn't always the answer. If you think you compromise too much, do your best to stand firm. Sometimes refusing to compromise can be the key to your emotional health and your happiness. Little compromises are natural and unavoidable, but be careful not to give up too much of what is important to you for the sake of a relationship that should help to affirm who you already are.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less
New Year Resolutions

It's 2024! You drank champagne, you wore funny glasses, and you watched the ball drop as you sang the night away with your best friends and family. What comes next you may ask? Sadly you will have to return to the real world full of work and school and paying bills. "Ah! But I have my New Year's Resolutions!"- you may say. But most of them are 100% complete cliches that you won't hold on to. Here is a list of those things you hear all around the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

The Ultimate Birthday: Unveiling the Perfect Day to Celebrate!

Let's be real, the day your birthday falls on could really make or break it.

​different color birthday candles on a cake
Blacksburg Children's Museum

You heard it here first: birthdays in college are some of the best days of your four years. For one day annually, you get to forget about your identity as a stressed, broke, and overworked student, and take the time to celebrate. You can throw your responsibilities for a day, use your one skip in that class you hate, receive kind cards and gifts from loved ones and just enjoy yourself.

Keep Reading...Show less

Unleash Inspiration: 15 Relatable Disney Lyrics!

Leave it to Disney to write lyrics that kids of all ages can relate to.

The 15 most inspiring Disney songs

Disney songs are some of the most relatable and inspiring songs not only because of the lovable characters who sing them, but also because of their well-written song lyrics. While some lyrics make more sense with knowledge of the movie's story line that they were written for, other Disney lyrics are very relatable and inspiring for any listener.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments