When I thought my life was falling apart, it was really falling into place

When I thought my life was falling apart, it was really falling into place

Read this and your life will never fall apart again
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Nobody wants to feel like their life is falling apart. If it was up to us, we'd want to live happily ever after from the moment we were conceived. The truth is, we live in a world of contrast, which causes us to have challenges and struggles, but nothing ever falls apart. Here's a story of when I thought my life was falling apart, and what was really happening instead.

I was lying on the floor in someone else's house, crying as though I was a child who had just discovered Santa wasn't real. Lost, lonely, relapsed, stranded, broken, broke, and confused, were just a few words to describe my state of being at that time. All I could wonder was why I chose to move to California because at that point it felt like the world was trying to tell me my time was up. "No!" I thought, "I was born to be great and live an amazing life. This is not how my story ends!"

At that time, I had just totaled my car, and my plan to travel up north and find a place to live in the Bay area abruptly came to a halt. My destructive thoughts were running rampant like someone trying to find their phone when they know their crush is waiting for a response. It was hard for me to do anything but pity myself and my circumstances, but I knew that I was the creator of my life, and had to be the change to see the change.

I began to take ownership of my life and experiences. I could choose to be the victim, or become aware that I am the designer of my life, and can choose to change my thoughts to please me more. Whenever I caught myself thinking about my car or any other problems that were going on at the time, as soon as I could, I would replace it with "Nothing is a mistake, there is a blessing in everything." "There is something in this for me."

The more aware I became of my thoughts, and the more conscious I was in choosing them, the more I began to enjoy my life. Before I knew it, I realized that the life I was wanting to have was exactly where I was the entire time and I just hadn't realized it until then. It was as though I had been trying to listen to music on the radio, frustrated that I couldn't hear anything, when the whole time it was playing but I had forgotten to turn the volume up.

The biggest blessing I could have asked for was to be stopped in the place of my dreams, which lead me to a job of my dreams, surrounded by the people of my dreams. I couldn't see the bigger picture and know that all of these wonderful people and circumstances had already been put in place for me in Santa Barbara. In my state of distress, I kept believing that what I wanted was somewhere else, so the universe had to find another way to tell me this is where I wanted to stay.

The whole time I felt as though my life was falling apart, it was really falling into place. Looking back at all of the struggles in my life, I realize that has always been the case. There has never been a challenging time in my life that I haven't grown from. When you feel like your life is falling apart, it's life reorganizing itself to accommodate all that you've asked for.

Cover Image Credit: Brooke Lyn Landon

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15 Signs You're A Full-Time Working Girl, 40 Hours A Week Or More

Forty hours a week really changes you.
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Forty hour work weeks, 5 days, 8 hours per day. Full-time jobs require a lot of dedication and consume the majority of your time. I love my full-time internship, honestly. It's a lot of fun and I get to experience what it will be like when I grow up and work at a company. Here are some signs that you work full time.

1. You're always tired

Waking up at 6, being at work by 8 and not leaving until 5 can really make you exhausted. Waking up early kicks off your exhaustion while everything in between 8-5 can make you tired as well so by the end of the workday, you're ready for a nap. Except if you nap, then you won't sleep later and be even more tired the next day. Thank God for coffee.

2. Your body adjusts to waking up early

I don't seem to really sleep in anymore on the weekends. My body thinks I should be up early so I'm now waking up at 7 or 8. But hey I get to lay in bed until whenever I want so I don't mind too much.

3. Weekends become your summer

You try to squeeze your normal summer days into two days. Because they are the only days you have off, so you try to make the best of them.

4. Plan out your outfits

You tend to plan out your outfits every night because if you don't, you will be late to work. You can't just throw on any old shirt and shorts. You got to look good and professional.

5. Don't do anything during the week

You're dead after a day of work, so you dedicate your off time to resting and relaxation. You probably won't make major plans during the week.

6. "Sorry, I have to work."

This phrase is used a lot. If someone tries to plan something during the week: "Sorry, I have to work." Or if there's a late night party: "Sorry, I have to work [the next day]."

7. Love three day weekends

Three day weekends are a blessing from God. But the Friday before is an absolute killer and all you want to do is leave. Or the Monday after is even more worse than a normal Monday.

8. TGIF

Fridays have a whole new meaning when you work full-time. You can have a successful day at work and then you're able to party hard because you don't have to work in the morning. They also are the day that people can easily leave early on because hey, it's Friday.

9. Friends on the weekend

You won't see your friends until the weekend most likely. And sometimes you want to see them all at once but it's tough when you have only two free days. So hopefully all your friends are able to hang out together so you can see them all.

10. Have more laundry

I basically wear two outfits a day. My work outfit and my after work outfit. And they both are washed differently so I have to do separate loads. It actually sucks.

11. Super good at keeping track of time

You're always looking at the clock and become very aware of what time it is. It's weird but sometimes helps you get through the day.

12. You're always hungry

I've noticed that I am absolutely starving by the time 11 am rolls around. Then, when I get home, I am starving for dinner. Not sure why or how because I sit at a desk all day and don't have any physical activity but I eat a lot.

13. You're going to be pale

If your full-time job is in the summer, there's no way you'll get your usual tan if you work inside. Tanning is only for the weekends now so soak up the sun.

14. You may spend a little bit more

You're making good money at this job, so why not spend a little extra on some things? But everyone is different, so others may not even change how they spend their money.

15. Hump day has a whole new meaning

Took me from the time I first saw that commerical to when I started my full-time job to realize Wednesday is hump day because you're over the hump of the week.

Cover Image Credit: Kelly Toncre

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The Art Of Messes

It's just as strategic as organization.

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It's unplanned (most of the time). It's unsettling (for some of us). It's unnecessary (especially when it takes the place of organization). But it's precise. And it's impressive. And it really is ok. After being a camp counselor for less than a week, I have come to embrace the artistic element of a mess.

Children are inevitably messy. Give them a box of crayons and watch each crayon tumble to the floor, their wrappers swirling to the ground and their sturdiness unmatched by tiny fists. Give them a granola bar and find a corner of it here and a piece of the wrapper there. Give them a board game and uncover pawns three days later on the opposite side of the room. There is no organization to (most) of their little lives; there is no artistic intent. Yet a child can create the most outlandish inventions and ingenious games amidst, and I am coming to believe partially because of, the mess.

Not every child is messy. I was quite the opposite, in fact. Everything had it's place in my world, and it would in everyone else's if I had anything to do with it. However, I was not concerned with perfect labeling or hiding unsightly objects or color coding or picking up every little thing. If kids color-coded their crayons, how would they have time to use them?

I am, of course, still a strong advocate of organization. But I have come to realize that it can have its superfluousness. We organize to the point of disuse. Life becomes too pretty to touch. We sit on the outside when we could be in the middle of it all.

When the end of a camp day rolled around and the kids were disinterested of any more structure, I gave them paper and crayons (which mostly ended up on the floor). When clean-up time rolled around, they put all the crayons back in the box. Everything was organized - but it really wasn't. The crayons had been organized in a giant cardboard box with dividers, separated by color. It wasn't my box of crayons, and I began to fret. Seriously?? Seriously.

What is the point of organizing crayons by color? I asked myself. Nothing. There is no point. Maybe it makes each color easier to find, but what's the fun in that? When you can't find a pink, you use a magenta, and all of a sudden, your picture becomes a little more unique.

And such is life - you're not always going to be able to find a pink, even when that's what you really wanted. Part of the game is about what you set your heart on, but the other part is what you end up with and what you choose to do with that. An organized crayon box has no adventure; it has no surprises. An organized crayon box is pretty predictable.

I'm not encouraging you to embrace being messy but rather to simply embrace the mess. You will come across one every now and again, no matter how organized you are. There are days when I sweep the cafeteria at camp five times a day and still manage to find a Lego as soon as I am about to leave for the day.

There will always be something else to find on the floor. There will always be another mess to clean up. So maybe we should just let ourselves live in that mess for a little longer next time rather than be so obsessed with restoring structure. Who knows what we could find.

Cover Image Credit:

KaboomPics

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