When a writer falls in love, her writings can either make you fall or will break your heart. When a writer falls in love, she may actually stop writing.
Ideas about love, relationships and heartaches are reality to some but for the writer, it is only but a dream she has yet to experience. For she is the writer who only learns about dates, kisses and break ups through the stories she heard. And when she writes, she tries to sew it all in the most perfect way. In ways like how movies and songs are made, with happy endings. She can only imagine.
Behind every chic flick, novels and songs are writers who works hard in portraying the emotions and feelings that people have felt- a feeling that she have not even experienced at all. She writes stories about her parents unconditional love or her friend’s break up but she has never written her own. It is an ironic event where one tries to make everyone feel something that she herself have not yet felt.
But then she fell in love and she stopped writing. She did not only stop writing, she stopped doing everything. She spent less time with her family, with her friends, with her studies and even to herself because she only had time for him.
Late night strolls, dinner for two, warm hugs and deep conversations. The writer fell in love with the simplest thought that she can also be loved. That she is capable of being loved, that she can be seen as a potential lover and no longer just the friend, the younger sister or the storyteller. The writer has become a reality of her own.
When the writer fell in love, she loved so hopelessly and very deeply. The writer who wrote fictional characters and imagined episodes became human. She became an actuality of her own, with someone whom she thought can only be found in her dreams. She was not conceptualizing drafts for others anymore- for she was making her own.
Of all the stories the writer has made, she always questioned as to how can people be so senseless when it comes to love. How can people become so helpless when they are in the state of being in love?
The writer sees it all now. One can not have a single definition of love, for love is universal. For love is experienced in different ways and in different levels. For the writer, she has accepted the fact that when you fall in love, you are not yourself anymore. You are a person blinded of love.
The writer no longer thought about herself but instead the welfare of her love. She no longer had time to write for she would rather look at reality- for he is real and words are not. The writer no longer writes because she’s afraid that if she would let even a minute pass, her reality might disappear.
And true enough, like the ones she have heard and seen, there will come a time when everything will fall apart. It was all gone as fast as it came. He disappeared leaving her breathless and perverse.
No more late night conversations, no more dinner out, no more ridiculous doings- no more them. There is no happy endings unlike what the other writers made everyone, including her, believe.
When the writer fell in love, she was sure that what she gave was pure and genuine feelings. But because there is no better expert of heartbreaks than a writer, she knows that she will no longer love the same. She knows how to restrict herself now for she already recognizes the feeling of falling back first and not looking if there’s even someone who’d catch her.
When the writer falls in love again, she’ll no longer expect pixie dusts, exciting glows and firework shows. When the writer falls in love, she’ll expect both an eternity of happiness and pain all at the same time.
