As a teenager, I’ve had issues with insecurity and a slight sense of self-loathing, but those feelings were internal and private. I did not broadcast my insecurities to the world on a billboard, so in social situations, I could briefly escape my mentality and ignore my self-deprecation. We are always told that we are our own harshest critics, and that very idea motivated me to regard my insecurity as mere self-scrutinization rather than factual.

That, however, ended when my insecurity found a basis in reality.

A stranger called me ugly. I do not wish to embellish the occurrence with further details, for it is not necessary. He called me ugly, not in front of me or around me, but behind my back, like some sort of petty, cowardly thief.

Mind you, I do not want pity. I do not need any reassurance. I merely want to discuss how the experience affected me.

To be frank, it hurt. In my mind, a stranger calling me ugly hurt more than it rationally should. After all, I would tell myself, he does not know me. He’s never met me. What does he know, right?

But then, I realized that his lack of familiarity with me is what made the insult sting. Without knowing and without understanding, he passed a derogatory judgement. He deemed me so invaluable and unworthy of being known that a mere second of exposure was enough to pass judgement. Just a second.

In short, he objectified and minimized me. When you see an object in the store, it’s simple to analyze it. It lacks nuance. A bike could be blue. A cloud, white. The sun, yellow. These descriptions require no nuance or complexity. It is simply what meets the eye.

But a person? How could one apply that thought process to a person as well? Isn’t a person worth more than an object?

Of course, you are allowed to find somebody unattractive or not your type. Nobody is insisting upon universal attraction. However, before you call me ugly, I ask that you know me. I ask that you give me a chance to speak, without assuming that my physical appearance speaks for myself accurately. If I’m rude, or crude, or insulting in any way, then call me ugly. I will commend it. But at the very least, recognize my nuance.

Ugly is such a simple word, but as we’ve all probably learned, oh, what power one word has, for it can move worlds.