People Change But That Doesn't Mean You Have To Lose Them As Friends

People Change But That Doesn't Mean You Have To Lose Them As Friends

Can you maintain a friendship when one of you changes?

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I am pretty much the same person I have always been. I'm a type A, focused, competitive, athletic person. I am also a bit goofy, ditzy, anxious, clumsy, and nerdy. I have strong opinions but I am always interested to hear new points of view and I take the time to consider them thoughtfully. I am old fashioned and though I do think that all people are equal I would not consider myself feminist.

Once of my closest friends in high school was a girl I'll call Margo. She too was driven, a type A personality who was competitive about grades and focused on the future. She was loud, funny, ditzy, nerdy, and interesting. She was a little boy crazy and we spent lots of time discussing the boys in our high school and one day being bridesmaids inn each other's weddings. We were good friends and shared a lot.

We went to different schools as friends often do. I went to GW and she went to a school up North. I continued to be focused on school and fitness. I worked in the campus gym, went to classes, studied, and went inn occasional dates with men I met at school. Other than gaining confidence in my ability to be an independent adult and actually being one, I really didn't change who I was as a person. Margo did.

She too continued to be focused on classes. She also discovered drinking and smoking, things not uncommon in a college setting but things that I had almost no interest in doing. She also dated a few men and then, to my surprise, a woman. I was happy for her. She seemed to really love and care about this woman and I wanted her to be happy. When she officially announced on her Facebook page that she was a lesbian I was proud of her. She was confident in herself in a way that I hadn't seen before and it was great.

Our friendship continued basically unchanged. She would occasionally joke that I should give up men and try it her way and I would laugh at her and tell her that wasn't for me. We still would eat ice cream and watch trashy tv and we'd stay up talking about her girlfriend and the guys I had met recently. We discussed our classes and what we wanted to do post graduation. We reminisced about high school and talked about what people were doing now. Things seemed almost the same.

Over the last several months, things have changed a lot. She has become extremist in her views regarding sexuality, gender, race, and sic-economic status. I think everyone has their views and opinions on this subject and the range of viewpoints is huge. I have always supported her in whatever she wanted to do, whatever she wanted to study, and whoever she wanted to date. What has changed is that she no longer supports mine. She has developed a negative, discriminatory view on men. Straight, white men, though she isn't thrilled with most men, in particular are the group that she resents and speaks ill about.

My boyfriend is strong, protective, and makes me feel safe. He is also sweet, smart, loving, and compassionate. He is also a straight, white man. My father and my brother are also straight, white men. It hurts me deeply to hear how she now speaks about men of that race and sexual orientation. I find that we are speaking less and I am sharing less about my life with her. We have been friends for over eight years and been through a lot together. I want to preserve our friendship but, is that possible knowing the resentment and disdain that she has for the men in my life? I do not know the answer to that. What I do know is that I am happy in my life.

I think all you can do when a close friend goes through a drastic change is be there, be available, and be yourself. But, do not change to accommodate. To continue to be friends, we don't have to want the same things or love the same way but we need to be accepting of each other's choices.

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!

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What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

1. Beer holster belt

Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

Price: $8.49

2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

Price: $10.98

3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

Does the frat boy in your life need a good read for Thanksgiving or winter break? Look no farther, this will certainly keep his attention and give him a history lesson on American fraternity heritage and tradition.

Price: $28.46

5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

Price: $12.00

6. Condom case

This condom carrying case will not only protect condoms from damage but also make frat boys more inclined to practice safe sex, which is a win-win situation!

Price: $9.99

7. Frat house candle

Ahhh yes, who does not like the smell of stale beer in a dark, musty frat house basement? Frat boys can make their apartment or bedroom back home smell like their favorite place with the help of this candle.

Price: $16.99

8. "Frat" sticker

Frat boys always need to make sure everyone around them knows just how "fratty" they are. This versatile stick can go on a laptop, car, water bottle, or practically anywhere their little hearts desire.

Price: $6.50

9. Natty Light t-shirt 

Even I will admit that this shirt is pretty cool. The frat boy in your life will wear this shirt at every possible moment, it is just that cool!

Price: $38.76-$41.11

10. Natty light fanny pack 

This fanny pack can absolutely be rocked by any frat boy. The built-in koozie adds a nice touch.

Price: $21.85

11. Bud Light Neon Beer Sign 

A neon beer sign will be the perfect addition to any frat boys bedroom.

Price: $79.99

12. Beer Opener

Although most frat boys' go to beers come in cans, this bottle opener will be useful for those special occasions when they buy nicer bottled beers.

Price: $7.99

13. Frat House Dr. Sign

Price: $13.99

Forget stealing random street signs, with this gift frat boys no longer have to do so.

14. Beer Lights 

Lights are an essential for any party and these will surely light up even the lamest parties.

Price: $17.19

Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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17 Things You Say And Do When You're The 'Mom' Of Your Friend Group

We all have that one friend.

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We all have that one friend who acts like a mom. She always has everything you could possibly need, she checks up on you and when you think of her she reminds you of a mother. If you're a boy and your girlfriend does any of these things, odds are she's the mom of her friend group.

1. She has everything you could possibly need in her purse

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Advil, tissues, hand sanitizer? You name it, she has it.

2. You always go to her when you have a problem

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3. She always checks up on you

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"How was your day? Did you get to class ok?"

4. She makes sure you get home safe 

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"Did you make it home OK?"

5. She makes sure you stay on top of your life

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"Did you get your homework done?" "I'll take you to the doctor."

6. She gives great hugs 

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7. She plans fun things for you and your friends to do

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"Do y'all want to get ice cream and see a movie on Sunday?"

8. She is a doctor without a degree 

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"I made you some tea with honey for your cough. It will help."

9. Sometimes, she has really bad dance moves but she thinks they're great

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10. She is your biggest fan

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11. She probably loves wine

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12. She always knows what you want for Christmas 

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13. She takes some pride being like a mom

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14. She is like a momma bear if one of her friends has their feelings hurt

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"You never needed him! You're your own person!"

15. She always wants to take pictures 

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"OK, last one! I promise!"

16. She always has mom sayings 

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"Because I said so."

17. Overall, she is the coolest

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