I'd never really liked babies that much. They were loud, never content, and I honestly didn't know what to say to them. Whenever there's one in the room, it's inevitable that the parents will ask, "would you like to hold her?" And I'd feel horribly rude if I said no. So there I am stuck with a tiny, delicate person in my hands that I don't know what to do with and just knew I'd accidentally drop and break.

Then my older brother had his first child and my entire opinion changed. I'd never seen a more perfect creation and you couldn't pry that baby girl from my cold dead hands. Right from the hospital room it was love at first sight, a deep love with a sting of jealousy for a person who has only been alive a matter of hours but has already became my brother's world.

It's strange watching a sibling grow up. I've sat by and witnessed him get his first real job, move out, buy his first car, fall in love, and now begin to raise a beautiful daughter, but somehow when I think of him, I'll always picture the kid in the bedroom opposite mine yelling at me across the hall late at night to come play video games. I said no too many times. It hurts how we can never go back to that.

This is a difficult change, but a welcomed one. My brother loves me unconditionally; growing up as well as now, and I can only imagine the love he now feels for his daughter. I may not be his favorite girl anymore, but I wouldn't want to be. He has a heart bigger than anyone I've ever known, and from growing up with him, I know what a protective, caring, and incredible father he'll be. He'll do anything in the world for someone he loves.

Passing on a brother is tough. You feel like a part of your life has left and moved on, which in a way it has. But seeing your best friend grow into an intelligent and passionate adult brings a type of peace and fulfillment. No matter how old he gets and how large his new family grows, there's a sibling connection that will never fade, no matter how long we go without seeing each other or speaking. He always snaps right back into the goofy, protective, playful brother I've always known when we are together. Hopefully I'm a break from the serious, stressful adult world.

I know without a doubt that my brother is going to be an amazing father and husband that will love deeper than anyone I've ever seen. I can't wait to see what both our lives become and where they take us. It's now his turn to watch his little sister become her own person and make her own mistakes and I know he will try to guide and help me every step of the way, just as I'd always do for him. Hopefully together we can figure this world out.