When Negativity Is A Social Norm

When Negativity Is A Social Norm

when you can't think of anything else to say
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I'm in college, and I complain a lot. I hope to overcome this annoying trait and just accept the fact that I'm here to better my education and myself, hopefully. I've payed attention to the culture that I live in nowadays, and I've noticed something. We are a pretty negative bunch of people, and I am talking to myself. There have been times where I felt that if I didn't have something negative to say about anything, then I wouldn't be accepted. It sounds crazy, but it's true. Think about it. How do you interact with people on a moment to moment basis? I wonder why we fill our conversations with negativity and pessimism. Here's why I think we lean more towards the glass half-empty mentality:

1. It's Funny

Snapchat is pretty cool. I enjoy posting random pictures of my day on my story and using the filters to make my face really fat. It's funny. I'm not about to bash Snapchat, because Snapchat didn't do anything, but we love using other people as a tool to ridicule and mock. Hold the phone. You're probably thinking "she's really petty," but it's also petty to film yourself driving down the road and getting "mad" at traffic and pretend to have uncontrollable road-rage. It's funny. It's cool to point out the crazy things that happen to us. Can it be healthy and all in good fun? Yeah, it can, but it isn't very cute for people to be mad and tough all the time, which brings me to my next point. Think about it. Are we really mad? If we are, then is it worth it to vent about it? If not, then...you get my point.

2. Insecurity

Sometimes I just have no idea what to say to people, especially if I don't know them. We just want to fit in. If we get uncomfortable, it's cool to just start naming off the things we hate about the world to have something in common. We will pull anything out of the air to start a conversation. I sadly do it all the time. If we are embarrassed about how passionate we are about something, and if other people don't like it, we accommodate for them in order to make them comfortable, and put ourselves down so we don't look stupid. We have nothing better to say than to bash ourselves or that prof that gives too much homework. Like I mentioned before, it is never a bad thing to be obvious, and I am not insinuating that we ought to be fake about how we're feeling, but don't rely on other people's validation and conversation to manufacture a negative attitude in you.

3. We Have Our Guard Up

We are afraid of being "shown up" by anyone, so we stay on guard at all times and have sarcastic remarks as our ammo and our mouths as our gun. We don't want to look stupid, so we make sure that if we get called out, we have something to sling back.

4. We Just Want To Relate

This ties in perfect with point 2. We just want to be on the same wavelength as other people and know that we aren't alone. We just want to have something in common, so we decide to hate the same things. Why not love the same things (unless those things include being hateful)? Why do we find it funny when someone has a bad temper and has something to say about everything? Why do we find it necessary to roll our eyes when we walk in a room before we even say a word? Because we want to relate. I hope we can find better things to laugh over.

One wise friend and mentor told me once that you are never in the wrong if you are positive. People will try to make you look dumb and knock your feet out from under you. You can take the high road.You have that option. Let's turn this thing around.

Best,

Hope


Cover Image Credit: http://wallwindow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/vintage_old_desert_road_1920x1200_by_irbe9.jpg

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A Letter To My Humans On Our Last Day Together

We never thought this day would come.
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I didn't sleep much last night after I saw your tears. I would have gotten up to snuggle you, but I am just too weak. We both know my time with you is coming close to its end, and I just can't believe it how fast it has happened.

I remember the first time I saw you like it was yesterday.

You guys were squealing and jumping all around, because you were going home with a new dog. Dad, I can still feel your strong hands lifting me from the crate where the rest of my puppy brothers and sisters were snuggled around my warm, comforting puppy Momma. You held me up so that my chunky belly and floppy wrinkles squished my face together, and looked me right in the eyes, grinning, “She's the one."

I was so nervous on the way to my new home, I really didn't know what to expect.

But now, 12 years later as I sit in the sun on the front porch, trying to keep my wise, old eyes open, I am so grateful for you. We have been through it all together.

Twelve “First Days of School." Losing your first teeth. Watching Mom hang great tests on the refrigerator. Letting you guys use my fur as a tissue for your tears. Sneaking Halloween candy from your pillowcases.

Keeping quiet while Santa put your gifts under the tree each year. Never telling Mom and Dad when everyone started sneaking around. Being at the door to greet you no matter how long you were gone. Getting to be in senior pictures. Waking you up with big, sloppy kisses despite the sun not even being up.

Always going to the basement first, to make sure there wasn't anything scary. Catching your first fish. First dates. Every birthday. Prom pictures. Happily watching dad as he taught the boys how to throw every kind of ball. Chasing the sticks you threw, even though it got harder over the years.

Cuddling every time any of you weren't feeling well. Running in the sprinkler all summer long. Claiming the title “Shotgun Rider" when you guys finally learned how to drive. Watching you cry in mom and dads arms before your graduation. Feeling lost every time you went on vacation without me.

Witnessing the awkward years that you magically all overcame. Hearing my siblings learn to read. Comforting you when you lost grandma and grandpa. Listening to your phone conversations. Celebrating new jobs. Licking your scraped knees when you would fall.

Hearing your shower singing. Sidewalk chalk and bubbles in the sun. New pets. Family reunions. Sleepovers. Watching you wave goodbye to me as the jam-packed car sped up the driveway to drop you off at college. So many memories in what feels like so little time.

When the time comes today, we will all be crying. We won't want to say goodbye. My eyes might look glossy, but just know that I feel your love and I see you hugging each other. I love that, I love when we are all together.

I want you to remember the times we shared, every milestone that I got to be a part of.

I won't be waiting for you at the door anymore and my fur will slowly stop covering your clothes. It will be different, and the house will feel empty. But I will be there in spirit.

No matter how bad of a game you played, how terrible your work day was, how ugly your outfit is, how bad you smell, how much money you have, I could go on; I will always love you just the way you are. You cared for me and I cared for you. We are companions, partners in crime.

To you, I was simply a part of your life, but to me, you were my entire life.

Thank you for letting me grow up with you.

Love always,

Your family dog

Cover Image Credit: Kaitlin Murray

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Starting T Didn't Go The Way I Planned And I'm So Thankful For That

Nothing ever goes as it should, so why should this?

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On April 4, 2019, I officially started the medical part of my transition. I say the medical part of my transition because my transition started long before that day, this was just the medical aspect of things. The day before was my 20th birthday and my mom came to town to surprise me. A few months ago she told me that she had scheduled an appointment with my endocrinologist for June 4, 2019, so that I could talk to them about starting T. Over dinner that night my mom told me that part of my birthday present was that she lied about my appointment, it was actually April 4th and not June 4th.

After I got over the initial shock, tears of joy and excitement, my mom and I had a long serious talk about things to make sure that I was ready to go through with things. The time I had to prepare had been cut down from two months to less than 24 hours. At first, I was panicking because I like to prepare for things but this is something that I have wanted for a long time.

When I went to the doctor's office the next day I was ready, I felt calm and prepared. I knew that my life was about to change in a way that I desperately needed and wanted it to. Even though I was ready for this moment I was still super fucking nervous, I left my letters (the letters a therapist has to write for you in order to start your transition) at home so my mom had to run home and get them while I was filling out my paperwork.

After talking with my doctor and her giving me the okay to start, I found out that it would probably be another two weeks before I actually started T because of the insurance company handles the prescriptions. But the way things were working, I got home, my mom left, and fifteen minutes later I got a text saying my prescription was ready for pickup. Again, my time to prepare went from two weeks to instantly.

When I got picked up the prescription and went to the doctor's office to learn how to do my shots I knew everything was right. This whole process wasn't supposed to start until two months from now, and then when it started I was supposed to have two weeks to prepare because of the insurance company. But, it all started instantly and I'm SO thankful for that. If this process hadn't gone the way it did then I wouldn't have a really cool story to tell, I wouldn't have started T the day after my 20th birthday, and I wouldn't be able to tell the world that my mom really does go above and beyond for me. This wouldn't have been possible without her, she really went above and beyond for this one.

Thank you momma, I love you so much. TGFE.

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