For twelve years of my life, I lived a happy and normal life. My mom and dad were happy in my eyes and my twin brother was my enemy, but we couldn’t deny that we would die without each other.

Then, one summer, my mom and dad sat my brother and I down and told us, “we’re not going to live together anymore,” and that was that.

I don’t know how I understood what that phrase meant at the time, but something in the back of my head made it all very clear. I understood what was happening, and my heart was torn in pieces.

I was twelve. I was only a kid, and this huge bomb had been dropped on me without any warning.

I remember myself repeating “I hate you!” and “you’re lying” when my parents tried speaking to me. This was after I had sprinted up to my room, crying my eyes out.

I didn’t know how to react correctly, but as I look back at that moment now, I don’t regret what I did.

Some people may say that I was acting like a child, because I was a child, or that I was reacting violently due to other internal issues.

I’ve had therapists - that I’ve been forced to see - talk to me about opening up and sharing my feelings. Then I’ve had peers tell me that I show too much emotion. There’s no perfect balance to that kind of thing, yet everyone tells me that I need to find it.

The reason I believe I had the right to act like that was because I literally had my entire life ripped in two.

My mother moved out, so soon I was living at two houses and switching between the two every week. It was hectic and confusing, and it made me resent the weekends when my brother and I would switch houses.

It didn’t matter which parent was taking us that week, I just hated the thought of not being able to call one place home.

I was told that I needed to see a therapist so I could talk about my problems and express my worries. I was later forced to see that so-called therapist.

My brother was not forced to go.

But that’s a story for another time.

Kids at school teased me and called me a baby for crying all the time, but none of them even knew what was going on for me at home.

It was hard for me - no one can tell me that it wasn’t. My grades dropped, my emotions were like ticking time bombs, and my friends slowly left as they realized they didn’t want to be associated with the class basket case.

Eventually, I got over it; eventually, I found a bit of balance and got used to the moving between places.

My mother remarried, something I’m still uncomfortable with (but any child of divorce can agree with me that having a parent marrying someone that isn’t your other parent is strange), and I gained three amazing step-siblings. Two step-brothers and one step-sister.

I was lucky that my new “siblings” were generally nice to me. At first it was weird and not accepted by both sides, and to this day there’s still some awkward air between some of us, but that’s expected.

My step-sister is truly my best friend, though, when speaking freely to each other the word “step” isn’t even included. She is truly my sister, and I’m so lucky that I have the bond I have with her.

Yes, the others and I are still rather nervous around each other. Their parents got divorced much sooner in their lives than mine did, so they didn’t know how my brother and I coped with the situation. The two boys are also older than me, so dealing with the two younger kids that are brought into their lives is understandably not something they would want to do.

Are they my family, even if they are more distanced from myself than my step-sister? No doubt about it.

There are so many complex parts of this, there’s certain aspects of the situation that I can’t go into great detail about in fear of getting the facts wrong and making someone mad. But I do know what my heart says, and as far as I’m concerned, making sure my heart is happy is the best thing I can do at this point in my life.

It’s just taken me a while to realize that even though my life took a very drastic turn six years ago, I’m still in control.

My parents may be divorced, but they still love me, and that’s all that I need to know as I get ready to start my own life.