I don't like change. And so it starts. One of my friends is leaving this university forever. All of our memories and moments together will be wisps. Activities just things we did in the past. We used to talk and see each other every single day. When it rained we would sit inside and play Mafia or the Resistance. Every time our friend group goes out now, we will feel one short.

My perception of her will now be completely concrete. She won't be around to talk or do things that will affirm or dispute my perception of her. To me, I'll always remember her for how I see her now. So, if we ever grow older and happen to meet up again, it'll be weird, like meeting a new person. What will she look like? What will she be like? Will she have a family? Will we still get along? Will we ever even meet again? What will I be like if we do meet later?

Then she'll fade into my memory. I'll think about her when something we did or talked about comes up. When I'm older I'll consider calling her and ask her how she is. We'll probably make plans to meet up, and get excited. Or I won't call because I'll worry that she won't even remember me.

I'll wonder if she'll ever think of me. I wonder what she'll remember about me.

Is this going to happen to everyone once we graduate college? Does this happen at every era in our lives? We part and move on from our high school friends to our college friends, we part and move on from our college friends to our work friends and neighbors. Is nothing solid? Is there nothing I can blissfully take for granted? I guess the one thing that stays concrete is family.

I feel like I will be sad. But right now I haven't processed it or I've processed it too much to the point of desensitization. So I say goodbye to her, knowing that it might be the last time I ever see her in my life. I try not to think about it too much. We promise to Skype, call and keep in touch but that's emotional alleviation that we provide ourselves to make goodbye less difficult. We both know we won't keep in touch, or that we will in the beginning but forget to do it later and drift apart till we're nothing but memories for each other.

I guess everyone goes through this. You can't keep your life constant and filled with the same people forever. It doesn't work that way because you'll never grow or improve. Different people teach you different things and you'll even find the winning equation for compatibility with other people. Saying goodbye will be difficult emotionally, but that's a good essay. It means you enjoyed her company and she brought you joy at that time. And there's nothing like remembering and smiling at a great memory.