You would have given me the world; I just wasn't ready for it. It was too heavy for me to hold so I dropped it. I wish I was ready because of everything you are, but it's because of everything I'm not that I couldn’t handle the weight of it.
On paper, you did everything right; the little things that can often go unnoticed, I noticed. You opened the car door for me each time, you always paid, you picked my friends and me up from concerts, you bought me flowers, you drove to see me at school, you wrote notes to me, you were a part of my family, you were a part of my friends, you were a part of me. You were my best friend, and I think a part of you will always be. We were each other’s first everything and that is something that will never change. But I just wasn't ready to be in such a serious relationship. I wasn’t ready to handle the amount of love you were willing to give me.
I tried. I really did. I tried to put myself in the position of thinking, "I could marry this guy", and I truly could imagine that. I put myself in the position of hoping; hoping I could have the life you were picturing us having. But timing. Timing truly is so important in life. And now wasn't the right time for me. How do you tell someone, “I love you, but not enough for it to work at this point in our lives?” That is just unfair. For someone to feel this sense of waiting, for that time I may be ready. I know people meet who they're going to be with the rest of their lives in high school/college, but what if I'm not ready to start being with that person in high school or college? What if I need to experience life on my own? What if I wasn't mature enough to accept the amount of love you had to give? What if I was scared? What if you were just better than me?
I'm sorry things turned out the way they did. Where we become strangers, and maybe never speak again. But this is how you heal and that's how I let you heal. That is the least I can do, be unselfish while we’re apart the way you were unselfish while we were together. I’m sorry I wasn’t the person you’d hoped I would be. But I’m most sorry that the future we planned together won’t happen now. It would gave been a great life, but I couldn’t be with you any more if I knew my heart wasn’t completely in it. Half love isn’t acceptable. So for now, we both move forward with our lives and maybe one day you’ll forgive me enough to wave and give me that crooked smile you have, but until then we go on with our separate lives, hoping to find everything we have been looking for.