So much of college culture today relies on the insistence that your respective college should feel like “home” to you, and if it doesn’t, you’ve chosen the wrong school. These messages are shoved down our throats, and in my experience, the “home” culture has hit JMU like an epidemic.

“JMU is home!”

“JMU is just like Disney World!”

“I’m more upset about leaving Harrisonburg than I was about leaving my hometown!”

Sound familiar?

To me, these statements all seem pretty extreme. Don’t get me wrong, I love JMU. I have met the most amazing people here, and I absolutely adore this environment that I have chosen to spend the next three years in. But I’ve never had the feeling that this home ever became more than or replaced the feeling of my hometown in Maryland. These messages that the student body sends are meant to be positive, no doubt. But they can be detrimental, especially to freshmen, who are just trying to find their place here.

When I was a freshman, I dealt with a lot of homesickness. I was surrounded by these “JMU is home” messages, and I had friends tell me “You’ll feel that way eventually.” These messages, though they have good intentions, were actually very detrimental to me. Feeling discomfort or unhappiness at JMU felt sacrilegious. This place was so great and everyone loved it so much, so why didn’t I? These “JMU or bust” messages began to actually convince me that there wasn’t something wrong with the messages or the situation, but there was something seriously wrong with me.

While these messages are meant to be positive and bring light to the amazing community that JMU is, I urge the JMU community to be careful with them. I do believe that JMU is an incredible place with the kindest and most supportive people in the world, and that it is an absolutely beautiful place to spend an undergraduate career. But to expect someone to somehow cancel out the feelings of home you’ve established for 18 years in another location? And to shame someone for not having that JMU-or-bust attitude? That doesn’t seem to be what we as JMU students pride ourselves on as Dukes.

So here’s my advice (incoming freshman, take note): JMU is a wonderful place to spend the next four years. I hope you find all the happiness and opportunity in the world here. But don’t fall susceptible to the messages that JMU has to be the best place in the world and be “home” right away. JMU is not perfect, and you will find struggles there like you will any other place, including homesickness. While you may not be able to call JMU your true home in your first year, I hope you can accept it as where you are meant to be for your college career. And if, for whatever reason, you feel unhappy here, there is nothing wrong with you or the way you feel. Your fellow Dukes will support you and love you and hold your hand as you continue through this journey.

Current Dukes, I urge you to be careful with your messages. Think about all the places you call home. Surely JMU isn’t the only one. It’s okay to love JMU and be excited about it in your words. But be careful not to shame someone else for not having the same feelings about JMU you do. We are all Dukes, and while JMU might not be a primary home for all of us, we should do our best to make it the most wonderful home-away-from-home as we can.