We all know that one person (or many) who aren't overtly affectionate.

I'm one of these people.

I've been hurt by an "I love you" before, and it's scary how I perceive it today.

I'm someone who has a very hard time saying "I love you," and it's not because I hate you, it's not because I'm an ice queen at heart, and it's definitely not because I don't feel the emotion. Love is just a very complicated emotion, and it makes me feel weak and a tad like I'm losing control, which makes me uncomfortable. Crazy right?

I feel weak for saying "I love you" because it leaves me feeling like I'm letting go of my independence and strength, and by simply saying "I love you" I am overcome with feeling uncomfortably vulnerable and squirmy.

Being a woman who values her strength and independence, I find it extremely hard to get to a level in any relationship to tell someone "I love you," even with my close family and friends.

Personally, I think the phrase "I love you" is tossed around too easily. And because I believe love to be a deep and passionate emotion, saying it all the time has made love out to be something superficial; it is now so overly used that, to me, the phrase comes across as non-genuine and fake.

Love isn't something you should just throw around to convince me of something, love isn't something used to make something "OK", and love isn't something that's supposed to be easy.

Sometimes, I wish I could change myself to be more open to love and affection, but alas, it's something that I struggle with and have always struggled with. Even when my family says "I love you," it's difficult for me to reply (my mom and sister can attest!). One of them will say "I love you!" and I'll reply with a "you too," "yeah," or just a "mmmmhm" mumble. My sister, for example, is one of the most huggiest people I know. She is one of those people who show's her love through saying "I love you" twenty times a day, and that's OK! I'm just not the same.

What I've learned about love from relationships, friendships, and family members is that love is not a weapon, and you say it when you mean it, and the phrase "I love you" should never be taken lightly.

All in all, if I'm in a situation with a good friend or family member and they say "I love you," I'll squeeze out an "I love you, too!" But it'll leave me feeling venerable.

I'll rarely say the "L" word unless I mean it. I'll show you I really love you through my time and actions, instead of through my words.

Just a friendly reminder from myself, and others like me: If I ever tell you "I love you," you'd better damn believe I mean it, because saying this actually requires a lot of me, so please respect me and my willingness to be to this vulnerable and open with you.

Then we can all learn to acknowledge and accept our different ways of showing we care.