Making a relationship work is very hard. There’s a lot of effort that goes into it, but when do you know that it’s just not working anymore?
“You will always be too much of something for someone: too big, too loud, too soft, too edgy. If you round out your edges, you lose your edge.
Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone - profusely. But don’t apologize for being who you are.” - Danielle Laporte
They aren't respectful to you.
They don’t talk to you in a respectful way. When you fight, they go overboard and swear at you and talk down to you.
They don't care about your interests.
You don’t have to have the same interests, but they should care enough about your interests to support you in what you do. Your interests may not be the same things that are important to them, but they understand why they are important to you.
They don't appreciate what you do for them.
They don’t say thank you for the things you do for them, they expect them from you.
They don't care about themselves.
They don’t have goals for themselves. And even if they do, they may just talk about what they want to do rather than actually working towards it. You can only help them so much, but if they aren’t willing to help themselves, it doesn’t matter.
You find yourself stressed more often than happy.
You don’t feel the same type of happiness you once did. A relationship is always about putting in work, but you feel like no matter how much work you put in, there’s more work to be done and more stress to be had.
You feel like the relationship is taking all of your energy.
You don’t have the energy for the things you enjoy. The relationship takes up so much of your time that you don’t put the same amount of effort into the aspirations you have or the extracurriculars you used to enjoy.
You feel as though you are giving with no return.
A relationship is based on give and take. You feel like you do so much for that person and constantly put yourself on reserve for them and they don’t do the same for you. In fact, they may not do much for you at all.
You don't enjoy the time you spend together.
Whether it’s because you are constantly fighting or it’s just simply the stress, you aren’t enjoying the time you spend together nearly as much as you used to.
They pull you into bad choices
You find yourself doing things you always promised yourself you wouldn’t, and you don’t even enjoy it.
You are questioning if it's really worth it.
What is the point of being in a relationship if you don’t see yourself having a future with that person? If you’re questioning if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life or if the end game is actually worth all the current stress, you probably shouldn’t be in that relationship.
You are holding onto memories.
You constantly tell yourself that you are here because of how they used to be and how much fun you had together. The fact of the matter is people change, and the person you were dating at the beginning may not be the person you are dating now.
They are not supportive.
They do not support your decisions. When you tell them something that you find exciting, they brush it off or make it seem like it’s less than what it really is.
You should always fight for a relationship, but you should also be enjoying it. People change and that’s okay. Follow your heart, but also listen to your mind. It's okay to move on, it's okay to love and support yourself first.
