Questions are the basis of human conversation. Questions are how we understand each other as well as the world around us. We encourage curiosity and the basics of asking questions with children of a young age.
Being curious and always full of questions myself I found life more exciting and purposeful when friends around me shared in my level of curiosity. But the older I get the more I dread hearing one certain question. It is a question asked in lots of versions to every young adult, and every young adult utterly and completely bullshits their answer.
"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "What are you going to do with your major?" "What career are you working towards?"
As kids, this single question is a starting point of exploration and what ifs. For myself, I was the kind of child that had a single answer that I stuck with. "When I grow up I want to work with animals." I varied from zookeeper to a nursery worker, and then finally from about 12 years old I wanted to be a veterinarian. I planned my entire life on that one goal.
I stretched and stressed myself throughout high school to be involved, work at a veterinary clinic part-time while also having spectacular grades. I would go until I would crash and sleep for an entire day.
My mom worried about me as I overdid myself. I rarely saw my parents and when I did most the time it was in passing as I came in for dinner, shower and to sleep just to wake up the next morning and start all over again. Now as a sophomore in college I look back and ask myself why all the junk I once stressed about was so important.
Why did it matter so much to succeed in every single aspect possible? Even though high school was amazing, and I miss some things, like FFA, basketball, and close friends, I didn't get to enjoy these things as much as what I should have. All because I was too worried about getting to my future. Getting into Veterinary school. I had plans and outlines of my life and every detail lined up. All because I knew I had to have an answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up?".
I got to my second semester of college where I was pushing myself again to be active on campus, find a part-time job (hopefully with a vet), while taking 18 credit hours of "vigorous" courses when I finally had enough.
I realized that I'm still figuring out the answer to where my life was going. I needed to let go and let life just happen rather than stress myself to force things to happen. I finally saw that the friends and family around me didn't need an answer to what my future held. And to be honest with myself I didn't know what I wanted to truly do with myself or with my life.
I decided that it was okay to change my mind. I was ready to let go of my detailed plan. I didn't let go just to make another detailed plan, but to step back and let life lead me to my future.
With all of this I don't mean that I feel like what I did in high school was for nothing, I learned valuable lessons I use every day. I found a niche for adaptability and time management that's been super useful. But what I do wish was that I wouldn't have worried so much. I wouldn't have over did myself so much. I could've focused my energy to do better in one or two aspects of high school rather than do okay at ALL the aspects.
I also don't mean that we should go through life without working and striving for dreams. Our aspirations help each of us feel motivated as well as rewarded when we reach our goals. We should all work hard and do our best at every task placed in front of us. Curiosity and hard work to me are some of the most valuable skills everyone should develop within themselves.
From my experience, I would give the advice to any high school and college student that this question that haunts us of what we will be doing in our future should be shrugged away. None of us are in charge of the future and none of us can give a truthful answer except for I DON'T KNOW. I may have ideas or a route I'm following at the moment but maybe next week I will change my major/college choice.
Stop stressing. Stop worrying. Keep working. Keep thinking. Start living. Start feeling free to change your mind. None of us should imprison ourselves just so we have an answer to the next person that asks you, "What do you plan to do when you grow up?"
