When I was a little kid, I told everyone who would listen that when I grew up, I was going to be a wolf trainer. That's right. I was going to train wolves. I was not going to be a zookeeper or wildlife expert. I was going to train wolves.
As I got a little older and a little wiser, I realized something: you cannot train wolves. They are wild animals. Thus, my childhood dream of working with the real-life version of Balto was over (becoming a zookeeper or wildlife expert never occurred to me).
In grade school, I was one of the best artists in my class. I spent countless hours drawing everything from Star Wars characters to buildings to, of course, wolves. From this talent for drawing, along with my random passion for history and architecture, I decided I would be an architect. I sketched monuments, houses, and skyscrapers. Eventually, however, I lost interest in drawing and my future as an architect faded, as well.
Through the rest of elementary school, into middle and high school, I became obsessed with books. I read every book I could get my hands on, and spent too much of my birthday and Christmas money at Barnes & Noble. Reading was my passion. I became attached to the characters, worrying about what would happen to them. I decided I wanted be an author. I wanted to write books that mattered to kids as much as my books meant to me. I dreamed of writing the next Harry Potter series. This dream was the first one I actually took seriously. In sixth grade, I wrote the first forty pages of a book about a boy who becomes a pirate. I never finished it, but it was a start. For years I kept a journal with book ideas, and character descriptions. Someday, I still hope to be a writer.
In almost 19 years, I have changed my mind so many times, about what I wanted to be when I grew up, I have lost track. I thought about being a firefighter. I always wanted to be a professional soccer player, but then I realized that probably was not realistic. I wanted to be a teacher because my mom is one. I watched 8 Mile too many times and thought about becoming a rapper, until I realized I am as musically and lyrically gifted as a goldfish. I toured a Warner Brothers movie studio and briefly decided being a movie producer was my calling. I wanted to be a businessman, a soldier, a scout for European soccer teams, a comic strip artist, and a journalist.
Now, I am a college freshman, and nothing has changed. I am an undecided business major taking entry-level courses. For the most part, I find my classes uninteresting. I still dream of being a writer, I still debate over joining the military, and deep down, I still wish I could train wolves for a living.
I know that whenever I go home, I am going to be asked by relatives, "So what do you want to do after college?" It is just another version of the same question we are all asked as kids. For now, I guess I will just say I don't know. To be honest, I am okay with that. I don't know what I want to do, and I am not sure I ever will. As long as I am happy, I would be fine with doing anything, or even trying something new every few years. I will be whatever I decide to be, when the time comes. For now, I am just going to try as many new experiences as I can, and see where the road takes me.
