Just the other day, I was talking about going back to my hometown for the weekend to visit my family. Normally, I say something along the lines of "I'm going home this weekend." This time, I said, "I'm going to Mom's." It felt odd saying it. I had never heard myself actually say that out loud. Though it felt odd, it also felt right. For the first time in a year that I've had my own apartment, I noticed that I saw it as home more than I saw my parent's house that I grew up in as home. I saw my apartment as my shelter, my oasis. I was more comfortable and at ease there than my parent's house. Even though I didn't refer to it as home as I did with my hometown, it was different. My room back home was no longer my personal lair that I only came out of occasionally. It didn't even feel comfortable anymore. I oftentimes had trouble sleeping in it during visits.
It was as if the town I grew up in was "home," but my apartment in my college town was my "home home." It was the real thing now. It was something I viewed as where I wanted to be when I'm uncomfortable or sad. When I spend too long back at my hometown, I grow anxious to return and clean up my place or just sit on my couch. Because it is my home now. This is it.
This is the point in life that you realize your family will always and forever be your home, but you know in your heart that you have to find your own way. This is the point in life that you appreciate your hometown for all the incredible memories it holds for you. But that town no longer has substance. That town is no longer a beacon of safety that you run back to. Where you are now is. If it wasn't for my best friend that lives 40 minutes outside of that town and for my parents still there, I wouldn't give that place a second thought. Unless I was going through an old yearbook, cyber-stalking old classmates or putting clubs from high school on my resume, that place no longer holds a piece of my heart. It is now a memory, not a home.
I used to see the lights of my city and immediately feel at ease. "I'm back," I would think after long boring field trips or vacations. I loved every nook and cranny of that town and knew it like the back of my hand. Now I can barely remember where some shops there are.
We all get to this point without even realizing it. Sometimes it slowly creeps up on us, and sometimes it hits us like a truck. When you start to see your hometown as nothing more than a place your high school was, don't freak out. Don't panic. This means you are finally growing up, and that's OK. I promise, looking at that place a different way does not distance you from your family and friends there. It only makes you strong enough to find your own path. You're now strong enough to leave that security blanket behind you and to find your future children's hometown.
